narrative writing

Front

Best way to express: I yelled to Rags, "Get out of Grandma Boland's lilies!"

Back

I yelled at Rags to get out of the lilies.

Front

Best way to express: "We need to start down by the lake," I said.

Back

I knew we needed to start down by the lake because we haven't searched there yet.

Front

BEST way to express: "Ok, go get him, but hurry!" I told Martha Faye.

Back

I saw the disappointed look on Martha Faye's face and decided to let her go look for the dog. I just told her to be quick about it.

Front

Best way to express: "Go ahead and bring those lily bulbs with you, too," as we loaded the silver into the truck.

Back

I wanted to keep those lily clues with me, so I told Martha Fay to bring them along with us.

Front

Best way to express: "Gram, what about Grandpa's supper?"

Back

Martha Faye was worried about me feeding her Grandpa supper.

Front

Best introduction: BANG! The screen door slammed shut as I ran outside yelling at that mutt to get out of the lilies.

Back

BANG! The screen door slammed shut as I ran outside yelling at that mutt to get out of the lilies.

Front

Best conclusion: As I fell asleep, I realized I shouldn't have been so hard on that dog. Maybe that good for nothing dog is good for something after all. Now I wonder, what will I do to occupy my time?

Back

As I fell asleep, I realized that maybe I shouldn't have been so hard on that dog. Maybe that good for nothing dog is good for something after all. Now I wonder, what will I do to occupy my time now?

Front

Restatement of text evidence: By the time I fastened my seat belt, Gram had started the silver story. I could repeat it, but she never uses the same number of 'greats' for Grandma Boland. I don't ask anymore, but she tells it anyway.

Back

I told Martha Faye to hop into the truck with Rags. She gets annoyed at the silver story, but I told it anyway!

Front

Progression of ideas: Once I loaded the metal detector, we were off. Just when I finished the family legend, we arrived at the woods. After looking at the map, I told Martha Faye we'd begin the search at the lake.

Back

Once I loaded the metal detector, we were off. Just when I finished the family legend, we arrived at the woods. After looking at the map, I told Martha Faye we'd begin the search at the lake.

Front

Progression of ideas: As the sun set, I told Martha Faye it was time to go. We made our way to the truck to cook supper.

Back

As the sun began to set, I told Martha Faye it was time to go. When we began making our way to the truck, I told her we needed to get home to cook supper.