Sentence-smoothing with COMMA + -ING

Sentence-smoothing with COMMA + -ING

Use this strategy to describe two or more actions that someone or something does at the same time.

Cut Repeating Words

Use COMMA + -ING to cut repetition.

Smooth Out the Bumps

Use COMMA + -ING to combine short, choppy sentences.

Trim the Fat

Use COMMA + -ING to cut out extra connecting words like AS, WHILE & WHEN.

Multiple Choice

What's the strongest revision of this passage?

They jumped rope and they sang that annoying song.

• They jumped rope, singing that annoying song.

• They jumped rope and while they jumped rope they sang that annoying song.

• They jumped rope and they sang that annoying song.

Multiple Choice

What's the strongest revision of this passage?

She brushed her hair. While she brushed her hair she also sucked on a lollipop and hummed the Frozen theme song.

• She brushed her hair, sucking on a lollipop and humming the Frozen theme song.

• She brushed her hair. While she brushed her hair she also sucked on a lollipop and hummed the Frozen theme song.

• She brushed her hair, sucked on a lollipop and hummed the Frozen theme song.

Multiple Choice

What's the strongest revision of this passage?

She kicks the ball and slams it through the goalie's hands.

• She kicks the ball, and when she kicks it, it slams through the goalie's hands.

• She kicks the ball, slamming it through the goalie's hands.

• She kicks the ball and kicks it through the goalie's hands.

Multiple Choice

Why isn't the passage below the strongest revision?

She kicks the ball, and when she kicks it, it slams through the goalie's hands.

• There are repeating words.

• It's not clear these things are happening at the same time.

• It's not clear who the goalie is.

Multiple Choice

Why isn't the revision below the strongest choice?

She brushed her hair, sucked on a lollipop and hummed the Frozen theme song.

• There are extra words.

• It's not clear she's doing these things at the same time.

• It's not clear who is doing the things.

Open Ended

Revise the passage below using COMMA + ING.

They studied all night. They reread their books. They practiced with flashcards.

Open Ended

Revise the passage below using COMMA + ING.

He swept the floor and when he was sweeping the floor he brushed the crumbs under the refrigerator.