Practice

Revision or editing

Subway Cat

Tyler wrote the following story in response to a class assignment. Before he turns it in, he would like you to read it and look for ways he should revise it. When you finish reading, answer the questions that follow.

(1) I noticed him one day last winter. (2) He was lying on a wellworn seat at the back of the subway car. (3) Curled into a ball of patchy fur, he appeared to be asleep. (4) However, when I saw him lick his paw, I knew he was awake. (5) When we finally got to the Eighth Street Station, the big, striped cat lifted his head. (6) His golden eyes darted back and forth, and then he leaped off the seat. (7) Staying low to the ground, he crept to the open door. (8) Before jumping onto the station platform, he turned around, flicked his tail, and stared straight at me!

(9) Every Wednesday, my mother and I rode that same subway train. (10) We always got off at Eighth Street and walked to my piano teacher’s house. (11) On that winter’s day and every Wednesday for several months, the cat rode the same train we did. (12) He seemed to be by himself, with no one looking after him.

(13) I don’t know how that cat sneaked aboard the same train each Wednesday. (14) And I don’t know why he was there or where he was going. (15) But looking at his plump body, I guessed that his travels had something to do with gathering food.

(16) At first I felt sorry for the subway cat. (17) I figured that he Page 11 GO ON must be lonely without an owner. (18) One day I reached over and tried to pet him. (19) My mother shrieked about approaching strange animals and warned me. (20) The cat’s response wasn’t much better. (21) He hissed and jerked away, acting as if I had offended him.

(22) Subway Cat and I never got very close to each other after that. (23) Over time we formed a sort of friendship. (24) I would stare at him. (25) He would stare at me. (26) Sometimes, as he was leaving the train, he would turn back, proudly flick his tail, and meow. (27) Our simple relationship continued until, one Wednesday, he just wasn’t there.

(28) For several weeks Subway Cat was absent. (29) Then one day, near the subway station, I saw him. (30) I was sure it was Subway Cat, but he looked different. (31) His fur was groomed and fluffed, and he wore a glittering collar. (32) An equally flashy woman was leading him . . . on a LEASH! (33) Clearly, the cat now had a human master— and he didn’t look happy about it. (34) He turned his golden eyes toward me. (35) He almost looked embarrassed.

(36) I hoped that Subway Cat would come to enjoy his new life, but I missed seeing him on the train. (37) Then, just when I had stopped looking for him, there he was! (38) Subway Cat was alone, lying on his usual seat and licking his paws. (39) At Eighth Street he got up and headed for the door. (40) Then he looked back, flicked his tail, and stared straight at me

Multiple Choice

Read the paragraph before the story begins.

Tyler wrote the following story in response to a class assignment. Before he turns it in, he would like you to read it and look for ways he should revise it. When you finish reading, answer the questions that follow.

It tells you to revise this story. Revise means we do what as writers?

• Read it

• Fix mistakes

• correct it

• make it better

Multiple Choice

^{Tyler would like to add the following detail to the second paragraph (sentences 9–12).}

^{(9) Every Wednesday, my mother and I rode that same subway train. (10) We always got off at Eighth Street and walked to my piano teacher’s house. (11) On that winter’s day and every Wednesday for several months, the cat rode the same train we did. (12) He seemed to be by himself, with no one looking after him.}

^{It’s cold outside, but the subway is warm. Where should Tyler insert this sentence?}

• after sentence 10

• After sentence 11

• After sentence 12

• This sentence should not be added to this paragraph.

Multiple Choice

What is the BEST way to revise sentence 19?

• My mother shrieked about approaching strange animals that warned me.

• My mother shrieked. As she warned me about approaching strange animals.

• My mother shrieked about approaching strange animals, she warned me.

• My mother shrieked and warned me about approaching strange animals.

Multiple Choice

Which transition word or phrase could BEST be added to the beginning of sentence 23?

• Yet

• In the same way

• For example

• Therefore

Multiple Choice

What is the BEST way to combine sentences 34 and 35?

• He turned and his golden eyes toward me almost looked embarrassed.

• When he turned his golden eyes toward me, he almost looked embarrassed.

• turning his golden eyes toward me, which almost looked embarrassed.

• He turned his golden eyes toward me, he almost looked embarrassed.

Multiple Choice

^{Tyler wants to add a closing sentence to his paper. Which sentence could BEST follow sentence 40 and help bring his paper to a close? "}(36) I hoped that Subway Cat would come to enjoy his new life, but I missed seeing him on the train. (37) Then, just when I had stopped looking for him, there he was! (38) Subway Cat was alone, lying on his usual seat and licking his paws. (39) At Eighth Street he got up and headed for the door. (40) Then he looked back, flicked his tail, and stared straight at me."

• Subway Cat seemed happy to be on his own once again.

• He was the subway cat, and now he was worried about having to find his own food.

• He carted his silly little self straight to the door.

• And that is now the end of the story about the brave little subway cat I met one day.