Wordiness and conciseness

Wordiness and conciseness

by PAZ ABARCA

ELIMINATE THE UNNECESSARY WORDS BUT KEEPING THE MEANING OF THE SENTENCE.​

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The teacher demonstrated some of the various ways and methods for cutting words from my essay that I had written for class.

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Wordy: Eric Clapton and Steve Winwood formed a new band of musicians together in 1969, giving it the ironic name of Blind Faith because early speculation that was spreading everywhere about the band suggested that the new musical group would be good enough to rival the earlier bands that both men had been in, Cream and Traffic, which people had really liked and had been very popular.

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Wordy: Many have made the wise observation that when a stone is in motion rolling down a hill or incline that that moving stone is not as likely to be covered all over with the kind of thick green moss that grows on stationary unmoving things and becomes a nuisance and suggests that those things haven’t moved in a long time and probably won’t move any time soon.

​YOU CAN COMBINE SENTENCES TO MAKE THEM CONCISE.

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Wordy: Ludwig's castles are an astounding marriage of beauty and madness. By his death, he had commissioned three castles.

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Wordy: The supposed crash of a UFO in Roswell, New Mexico aroused interest in extraterrestrial life. This crash is rumored to have occurred in 1947.