ch 1: conflict

Conflict

lectured by : Neary LAY

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Practice exercise on page 27

Conflict is that conflict is not bad and it is not good. It just happens. It is how we resolve a conflict determines whether the conflict will help us to make things worse or whether the conflict will help us make things better

Poll

Conflict is made up by people; neither positive or negative, it just is.

• T

• F

Fill in the Blank

conflict is just an ___________ pattern of energies.

Multiple Choice

nature uses conflict as its primary (----) for change.

• agent

• sender

• motivator

• follower

Multiple Choice

conflict is a contest. Winning and losing are goals of lots of games.

• T

• F

means that things will be different in some way they are now.

​Change

happens when different people want changes to happen in different ways, or when they try to prevent change from happening.

​Conflict

What is conflict?

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Risk of change

​Risk

makes most of us very uncomfortable. Changes causes conflict; but we can recognize conflict and use it to create change for the better, to help us, expand and grow.

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​Duplicate this text as many times as you would like.

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• What cause of conflict?

• How conflict can be used creatively for positive change?

Multiple Choice

which is not true about common causes of conflict

• values and belief systems

• misinformation

• incomplete information

• unfamiliar information

• often promotes self-identity

Multiple Choice

which is not true about useful function of conflict

• forms, affirms, conforms to some value set

• information regarded as not credible because of values, experience of the source

• fosters consciousness of commonality

• serve to unite like-mindedness within and between people and groups

Multiple Choice

Choose a correct answer about function of conflict

• temporarily defuses or sets aside other conflicts

• complex information not yet integrated or fully understood

• information overload to analyze, evaluate, integrate

• lack of resources

Multiple Choice

There is only one correct answer about dysfunctions of conflict

• interest dissatisfaction

• fear of interest dissatisfaction

• competition between entities to the point of rivalry

• jeopardizes stated self-interests

Multiple Choice

which is not true about causes of conflict

• personality clashes

• laws and regulation

• hinders rapid change

• patterns and practices

Multiple Choice

which is not right about function of conflict

• promotes action instead of carefully considered responses

• tarnishes credibility

• serves as a safety valve for the release of emotions in a safe and even constructive manner

• causes disunity among those who need and even desire to be united

Multiple Choice

which is not right about disfunction of conflict

• escalates, accelerates and broadens

• consumes needless energy and resources

• alters priorities to the degree that other interests are jeopardized

• develops useful interactions with others

​managing conflict

None of us behaves in the same in response to all conflict. An important part of successful conflict and dispute resolution is being able to analyze a conflict situation and choose the most appropriate way to resolve it rather than trying to manage each conflict situation in the same way.

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Response what we do when conflict occurs

• cry

• get visibly angry

• complain to someone else

• smile no matter what

• agree to talk about it

• blame others

• pretend nothing's wrong

• just give in

• hit someone

• go to authority

• joke around

• use the silent treatment

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​conflict cycle

​f

​Belief&Attitudes about conflict

Conflict occurs

​Response what we do when conflict occurs

Consequence

Consequences

• stress

• relief

• escalation

• de-escalation

• better or poorer relationship

• hurt feelings​

​conflict cycle

​f

​Belief&Attitudes about conflict

Conflict occurs

​Response what we do when conflict occurs

Consequence

• If we yell at the other person, the consequence may be hurt feelings. If pretend nothing is wrong, the problem may only get worse.

• whatever consequences result from our usual response to a conflict reinforce our basic belief about conflict and makes those belief even stronger in the future. (harmful-> bad thing) (benefit-> good thing)

• How we usually respond to conflict situations becomes our usual conflict management style.

differences in the management of conflict

Consider situations in which you find that your wants and needs are different than those the wants and needs of another person. When you are in such a situation, how do you usually respond?

Assignment

Practice exercise

​P. 5-15

1. going to a private place

2. expressing about feeling

3. decreasing the threat

4. using skills or a neutral 3rd person

5. investing in maintaining a healthy relationship

6. focusing on the problem not on the other person

​de-escalate

1. more people joining in and taking sides

2. increasing exposed emotions

3. increasing perceived threat

4. using few peacemaking skills

5. having no investment in maintaining the relationship

​escalate

conflict patterns

​When two or more people interact and perceive incompatible differences between or threats to their resources, needs, or values this causes them to behave in response to the situation and their perception of it. The conflict will either:

Assignment

Practice exercise

​P. 17-21

handling emotions in a conflict situation

• The stronger emotion, the more those emotions are likely to prevent real communication between the parties.

• To mange the emotions caused by a conflict situation, the parties have to find ways to really listen and to express their viewpoints to each other.

• Sometimes we need a chance to be alone and cool down first. But we all want to tell someone how we feel what we think.

• The feeling are an important part of the whole message includes what and how is being said , and how speaking person feels?

​acknowledging and validating emotions

A speaker will hear that his or her emotions are being acknowledged and validated if the listener:

• listens attentively

• acknowledges what the listener thinks she heard by restating them in a way that reflects how the words were said

• checks back with the speaker to see if the listening was accurate

• shows the speaker that you accept the speaker's right to have his feelings. Shows empathy not sympathy

Practice exercise

​p. 23-25

​identifying issues

• Think of a conflict as a problem to be solved. Most problems have several parts that is different issues, which must be solved before the whole dispute will be settled.

• The issues in a dispute are like the pieces of a puzzle. If one piece is missing, the picture does not become clear.

• Each issue is a part of the problem that must be fixed in a way that will satisfy the interests of the parties without creating new threats to other interests they have.

Practice exercise

​p. 27

​P. 28-46

What have your learned? Share your thought with your members.

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