Revise & Editing- Jupiter and the Bee

Multiple Choice

Xander forgot to include an important word in the text. Where should the word "in" be added in sentence 1?

• After when

• After stored

• After combs

• After harvest

Multiple Choice

What is the BEST way to combine ideas in sentence 2?

• In time, humans learned of her treasures---

  honey and beeswax---and began stealing from her hive.

• In time, adults and children learned of her treasures---honey and beeswax--- and began stealing honey from her hive.

• In time, men, women, boys and girls learned learned of her treasures--- hive stuff--- and began stealing honey from her hive.

• In time, men, women, boys and girls learned of her honey and beeswax and began stealing it from her hive.

Multiple Choice

Xander wants to improve the message of his text. What should be deleted from sentence 8?

• hardworking

• honeybee

• thieving

• more

Multiple Choice

Xander needs to rearrange words to make his point more effectively. What is the most effective revision of sentence 9?

• He granted her request with but a warning

• He granted her request but with a warning

• But granted he her request with a warning

• But her granted her warning with a request