Godly Friendships

10 BIBLICAL TRUTHS ABOUT FRIENDSHIPS

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GOD CREATED US TO HAVE FAMILY AND FRIENDS

Friendships and their Importance

I’ve never heard anyone say they wish for fewer, less-meaningful relationships. Each one of us longs to be more connected, more deeply, with friends. And this is because God made us for true friendship.

Here are ten insights from the Bible to help us recover true friendship:

1.The First Problem in the World Was Not Sin but Solitude

At each step of the way when God created the world, he pronounced that everything was “good.” But then once he created Adam, a statement startles us: something is not good. “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Gen. 2:18).

The reason behind Friendships

​Genesis 2:18
18And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. 
19And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. 

20And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

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This was before the fall — before sin had entered the world. Adam was not yet complete; he needed community.   

What does this show us? Although our deepest problems are sin and idolatry, our first problem was social isolation. Therefore, even today, in a world filled with society, Proverbs warns that the one who “isolates himself. . . breaks out against all sound judgment” (Prov. 18:1).

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What does this show us? Although our deepest problems are sin and idolatry, our first problem was social isolation. Therefore, even today, in a world filled with society, Proverbs warns that the one who “isolates himself. . . breaks out against all sound judgment” (Prov. 18:1).

New International Version
An unfriendly person pursues selfish ends and against all sound judgment starts quarrels.

New Living Translation
Unfriendly people care only about themselves; they lash out at common sense.

English Standard Version
Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.

​2. Friendship Is a Whole-Bible Theme

The Bible tells the story of the creation, fracturing, and ultimate restoration of true friendship—friendship with God and also with each other. In the beginning, Adam and Eve enjoyed the fullness of friendship. But their sin led them into hiding (Gen. 3:8), and we’ve been hiding behind our own fig-leaf masks ever since.

Yet God is restoring true friendship. He restores friendship with himself, as he did with Enoch and Noah, who “walked with God”—a Hebrew expression of friendship (Gen. 5:24; Gen. 6:9). Abraham was called “a friend of God” (Isaiah 41:8). Moses spoke with God “face to face, as a man speaks with his friend” (Ex. 33:11). He drew near to all who called upon him with true faith.

And then Jesus came as the great Friend of sinners, befriending all who trust and follow him. He came to lay his life down for his friends (John 15:13-15).

Now all those befriended by God are brought into communities of friendships in the church. We can now befriend others as God in Christ has befriended us.

​3. Proverbs Is a Practical Guide to Forging True Friendship

Proverbs gives us wisdom for navigating the complexities of our relationships. And it doesn’t just address relationships in general, but also friendship in particular. For example, it teaches us what to look for in finding true friends (Prov.13:20; Prov 22:24-25).

It shows us why loyalty is so important for cultivating friendship (18:24;19:6; 27:9–10). It also shows us the one thing that is most damaging to this kind of relationship: spreading secrets (16:28; 17:9).

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4. True Friendship Is More Like a Covenant Than a Contract

We often treat relationships as consumers: we befriend for the benefits we receive. But like a contract, when the relationship doesn’t give us the goods we want, we leave. 

But the Bible shows us that real friendship is more covenantal than contractual. Proverbs teaches us about “a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Prov. 18:24). It commands us, “Do not forsake your friend” (27:10). It warns us about the fickleness of fair-weather friends: “Wealth brings many new friends, but a poor man is deserted by his friend” (19:4).