Intetional Revisions w/ "The Art of Making Noise"

Multiple Choice

Which of the following should replace sentence 4 to effectively state the controlling idea of this paper?

• There are professionals known as Foley artists, and they got their name from Jack Foley,

  who was the first Foley artist.

• Many of the sound effects that movie audiences hear are made by Foley artists, film industry professionals whose work is done after the filming of a movie is complete.

• The sounds that you and I hear when we go to see a movie were not always made when the movie was being recorded.

• Professionals create the things that are in the background in movies, including galloping horses, pelting rain, and chirping crickets.

Multiple Choice

What is the most effective way to combine sentences 6 and 7?

• Background noises and sound effects cannot be adequately recorded during filming these,

  including such things as roaring cars, galloping horses, or the gentle tapping of pencils on desks.

• Background noises and sound effects cannot be adequately recorded during filming when

  they include such things as roaring cars, galloping horses, or the gentle tapping of pencils

  on desks.

• Background noises and sound effects, such as roaring cars, galloping horses, or the gentle

  tapping of pencils on desks, cannot be adequately recorded during filming.

• Background noises and sound effects cannot be adequately recorded because such things

  as these roaring cars, galloping horses, or the gentle tapping of pencils on desks are

  included during filming.

Multiple Choice

Akina wants to add support for the idea she has presented in sentence 13.

Which sentence should replace sentence 13 to help accomplish this goal?

• Foley believed that if viewers, people who were watching the movie, could hear other sounds, the on-screen story, or the movie itself, the movie would feel more genuine and real.

• Foley believed that if viewers could hear other sounds, the on-screen story of the movie would feel more genuine and more real to them.

• Foley believed something and that is if viewers could hear other sounds, the story being told by the movie would feel more genuine.

• Foley believed that if viewers could hear other sounds, such as heels clicking, dresses

  rustling, or water sloshing, the story of the movie would feel more genuine.

Multiple Choice

What is the most effective revision to make in sentence 15?

• Soon Foley was working to make films more realistic as he was improving the background sound with moviemakers.

• Soon Foley was working with moviemakers to make more realistic films by improving the

  background sounds.

• Soon Foley was working to improve the background sound with moviemakers and to make films more realistic.

• Soon Foley was working to make more realistic films by improving the moviemakers and

  background sounds.

Multiple Choice

What is the most effective transition to add to the beginning of sentence 19?

• Fortunately

• Finally

• As a result

• In addition

Multiple Choice

Akina has not used the most effective word in sentence 26.

Which change should she make to improve this sentence?

• Change carefully to slowly

• Change listen to to understand

• Change think about to study

• Change repeat to imitate