Concise Langauage

Keep it Short and Strong: Mastering Concise Language

Avoiding Redundancy and Choosing Precise Words

I can identify redundant phrases and replace them with concise, precise language to improve my writing.

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Learning Target

W.7.3.D – Use precise words and phrases, relevant descriptive details, and sensory language to capture the action and convey experiences and events.

Standard

Standard and Learning Target

She ran quickly.

She sprinted.

Example

Concise language means saying what you need to say using fewer words.

What is Concise Language?

Why is Concise Language Important?

• Helps keep your reader’s attention.

• Makes your writing clearer and easier to read.

• Cuts out words you don’t really need.

• Close proximity (Proximity already means close.)

• Completely finished (Finished means it’s already done.)

Redundancy means using more words than are necessary or needed. 
For example, calling a blank sheet of paper empty is redundant.

Common Examples of Redundancy

Strategy 1: Replace Repeated Ideas

Wordy: At this point in time.

Concise: Now

Strategy 2: Use Strong Action Words

Wordy: He walked slowly.

Concise: He strolled.

Multiple Choice

Which sentence is the shortest and clearest?

• a. She made a decision to go home.

• b. She decided to go home.

• c. She thought about it and made a decision.

• d. She made up her mind to go home.

Multiple Choice

What is the best replacement for “The blue sky was very beautiful”?

• a. The sky was blue and beautiful.

• b. The blue sky was stunning

• c. The blue sky was really, really beautiful.

• d. The blue sky looked amazing to her.

Multiple Choice

Find the extra words: “He shouted loudly in the quiet room.”

• a. Shouted loudly

• b. Quiet room

• c. He shouted

• d. None of the above

Multiple Choice

What is the best way to fix “In order to learn, you must study”?

• a. You must study in order to learn

• b. To learn, you must study.

• c. Study if you want to learn.

• d. Learning requires that you study.

Multiple Choice

Which word can you cut to make this shorter?

“The loud sound woke me up immediately.”

• a. Loud

• b. Woke

• c. Immediately

• d. Sound

Multiple Choice

How would you rewrite this sentence?

“She was very tired and extremely exhausted.”

• a. She was extremely exhausted

• b. She was very tired.

• c. She was exhausted

• d. She was tired and exhausted.

Multiple Choice

Replace “He is a man who teaches math” with a shorter sentence.

• a. He is a math teacher.

• b. He is a man teaching math.

• c. He teaches math.

• d. He is a man of mathematics.

Multiple Choice

What is the best way to fix this sentence?

“She drove the car fast and quickly.”

• a. She drove the car fast.

• b. She drove quickly.

• c. She drove fast.

• d. She was quick when driving.

Open Ended

Rewrite the sentence to make it shorter:

“At this point in time, I think we need to move quickly to finish the project.”

Open Ended

Why is using fewer words important in writing and speaking? Give an example to support your answer.

Multiple Choice

Choose the clearest sentence:

• a. She walked to the store in order to buy some groceries.

• b. She went to the store to buy groceries.

• c. She walked to the store to get groceries.

• d. She went to the grocery store.

Multiple Choice

Find the extra words:

“He climbed up the tall ladder to the roof.”

• a. Tall ladder

• b. Up the ladder

• c. Climbed

• d. Roof

Multiple Choice

Replace

“In my opinion, I think that this book is amazing”

• a. I think this book is amazing.

• b. In my opinion, this book is amazing.

• c. This book is amazing.

• d. Amazing is this book, in my opinion.

Multiple Choice

Fix this sentence:

“He repeated it again.”

• a. He repeated it.

• b. He repeated again.

• c. He said it one more time.

• d. He repeated once more.

Multiple Choice

Spot the extra word:

“A huge giant appeared in the story.”

• a. Huge

• b. Giant

• c. Appeared

• d. Story

Multiple Choice

What is the best way to fix this sentence?

“It was a very long and lengthy process.”

• a. It was a lengthy process.

• b. It was a long process.

• c. It was a long and lengthy process.

• d. It was lengthy.

Multiple Choice

Fix this sentence:

“The plan is to start early in the morning.”

• a. We plan to start early.

• b. We’ll start early in the morning.

• c. The plan is to start in the morning

• d. Starting early is the plan.

Multiple Choice

Find the extra words: “She nodded her head in agreement.”

• a. Her head

• b. In agreement

• c. Nodded

• d. She

Multiple Choice

Choose the clearest sentence:

“He was late due to the fact that he missed the bus.”

• a. He missed the bus and was late.

• b. He was late because he missed the bus.

• c. Because he missed the bus, he was late.

• d. Missing the bus made him late.

Multiple Choice

What is a shorter way to say this?

“The reason she stayed was because she wanted to finish the task.”

• a. She stayed because she wanted to finish the task.

• b. She stayed to finish the task.

• c. She wanted to finish the task, so she stayed.

• d. Staying helped her finish the task.

Conclusion

• Don't use extra words you don't need.

• Pick strong, clear words.

• Practice makes perfect.