Saying NO

Saying NO

Think about the last time someone asked you to do something you didn't want to do.
What did you do? Did you say yes or no? How did it feel?

Discuss the following questions with a partner

1 Is it difficult for you to say no to people? Why?

2 In what situations do people usually have to say no?
3 Do you think it’s easier to say no in your language or in English?

Look at the following situations

Your friend asks you to help them move, but you have a prior commitment.
Your colleague asks you to take on an extra task, but you're already overloaded.
Someone offers you food you don't like at a dinner party.

1 In these situations, is it always necessary to say 'yes'?
2 What are the potential consequences of always saying 'yes' when you want to say 'no'?

You are going to watch a clip about the art of saying No.

Before watching can you make a list of situations why people find it difficult to say no.

Watch the video and note three strategies or tips the speaker gives for saying no politely and effectively.

Answer the questions according to the information in the video
1 According to Damon Zahariades, what is the single greatest way to improve your productivity?

2 Why do people continue to say 'yes' even when they would rather say 'no'?

3 What are the three strategies mentioned in the video for saying 'no' without angering people?

4 What is the impact of saying 'yes' to everything on one's own priorities and goals?

5 What are the long-term benefits of learning to say 'no'?

Practise saying NO with a partner
Scenario 1: A friend invites you to a party you really don't want to go to.

Scenario 2: A colleague/classmate asks you to take over their shift/part of a project, but you're already overwhelmed.

Scenario 3: A persistent salesperson tries to get you to buy something you don't need.

Scenario 4: A family member asks you for a favour that would be a significant inconvenience.

Which of the strategies in the video do you find most effective? Why?

Have you ever used any of the strategies before? How did it go?

Are there any strategies that you find difficult to use? Why?

The following strategies are commonly used when saying no politely
1 The softened NO: use softening phrases: I'm afraid, ... Unfortunately...
2 Give a brief reason: provide a short, general reason without over-explaining: Unfortunately, I have a prior engagement. I'm really sorry but I am swamped right now.
3 Express appreciation/gratitude: acknowledge the request and the person't offer: Thank you so much for thinking of me. I really appreciate the invitation.
4 Offer an alternative, if possible or appropriate: suggest another time, person, solution: I can't this week, but perhaps next week. I'm not available, but we can ask Jack.

Categorize

Options (16)

Unfortunately, I can't.

I'm afraid I won't be able to make it.

I'm not available then.

I'll have to decline.

Perhaps another time?

Maybe next month would work better.

I can't help with that particular task, but I could assist with something else.

Thank you for thinking of me.

I really appreciate the invitation.

That's a very kind offer.

I'm really grateful for the opportunity.

I have too much on my plate right now.

I'm fully booked this week.

I'm sorry, but I have a prior engagement.

I'm afraid I'm already tied up.

My schedule is a bit tight.

Organize these options into the right categories

Polite refusal

Offering an alternative

Showing appreciation

Giving a reason

On the slides below, read the refusals and decide if they are effective or ineffective and why.

Poll

Thanks so much for thinking of me, but unfortunately, I've already got plans this Saturday. I hope the move goes smoothly!

• Effective

• Ineffective

Poll

I really appreciate you asking, but I'm completely swamped this Saturday. I could, however, come over on Sunday afternoon to help you unpack, if that's any help?

• Effective

• Ineffective

Poll

Maybe... I don't know... I’ll let you know later.

• Effective

• Ineffective

Poll

I really want to help, but on Saturday, my cat has a vet appointment in the morning, and then I have to pick up my dry cleaning, and then my aunt is coming over, and I promised her I'd bake cookies, and then the internet guy is coming...

• Effective

• Ineffective

Poll

No, thank you. I'm not interested.

• Effective

• Ineffective

Poll

Well, I guess I could... but you always ask me to help with things last minute, and I'm always busy.

• Effective

• Ineffective

Poll

I appreciate you asking me, but I’m going to have to say no this time.

• Effective

• Ineffective