Inact

The apartment trivia game

From: "The One with the Embryos" (Season 4, Episode 12)
Characters: All six friends
Scene: The friends play a trivia game created by Ross to see who knows more about the others. When the stakes are raised to include Monica and Rachel's apartment, the game becomes more intense.

Script

ROSS: (Reads a trivia question) Every week the TV Guide comes to Chandler and Joey's apartment. What name appears on the address label?
RACHEL: Oh! Chandler gets it. It's Chandler Bing.
MONICA: No.
ROSS: I'm afraid the TV Guide comes to "Chanandler Bong".
MONICA: I knew that. Rachel, use your head.
CHANDLER: (Corrects Ross) Actually, it's Miss Chanandler Bong.

By Ash Bha

Ross's tan

The script
(Ross enters the room, but only his front is visible, showing he's incredibly dark. He is smiling nervously. A confused Chandler sits on the couch.)
CHANDLER: Was that place...the sun?
(Ross glares at him, then turns to face the back of the room. His backside is still incredibly pale.)
ROSS: I got a spray tan.
(He turns back around to face Chandler.)
ROSS: I went to the tanning salon. The woman told me to count to five and turn around. So I did. I started counting, "One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, four Mississippi..."
CHANDLER: You counted in Mississippis?
ROSS: Yes! Isn't that how you're supposed to do it?
CHANDLER: No! You're supposed to count to five. You counted for a solid minute. What were you thinking?
ROSS: I panicked! And then, she sprayed me a second time on accident! Now look at me! I'm half black, half white. It looks like... like...
CHANDLER: Like a black-and-white cookie?
ROSS: Yes! Exactly! So I went back. And guess what? She sprayed me again!
CHANDLER: Oh my god. What did she spray you a second time for?
ROSS: She was busy arguing with her boyfriend on the phone and didn't realize it was me!
CHANDLER: You are officially the worst tanner in the history of tanning.
ROSS: This is not my fault! This is... This is... This is... This is... the worst day of my life!

By Ash Bha

The one with the couch

Episode: Season 5, Episode 16, "The One With the Cop".
Characters: Ross, Rachel, and Chandler.
Setup: Ross buys a new couch but refuses to pay for the expensive delivery fee. He enlists Rachel and Chandler to help him carry it up the many flights of stairs to his apartment, with disastrous and hilarious results.
Ross: Okay, okay, we're at the landing. We just have to pivot! Pivot!

Chandler: That is not a pivot! That is a half-pivot at best!

Ross: (to Rachel) I'm sorry, is there a problem, Mrs. Cotter? I'll have you know I'm a professional! I've been doing this for years! I've moved, like, four couches!

Rachel: Why don't you just let us take it up the stairs, and then we'll see who's laughing?

Ross: No, we're not going to let it get to that point! PIVOT!
(The couch gets stuck in the narrow stairwell.)

Chandler: It's not moving.

Rachel: I'm sorry, are we just supposed to magically move this couch with our minds?

Ross: I told you to PIVOT!

Rachel: It's stuck! We can't PIVOT!

Chandler: Well, if we were the Six Million Dollar Man and Kermit the Frog, we could just... you know... run away.

Ross: PIVOT! PIVOT! PIVOT!
(Ross frantically tries to push the couch, but it won't budge. He screams in frustration.)

By Ash Bha