Conflict Resolution

Multiple Choice

In every conflict, ___.

• A fight breaks out and someone gets hurt

• Two people have a different opinion

Conflict Resolution

What to do when we don't agree...

What is a Conflict?

• A conflict happens when two people do not agree.

• A conflict can build up into a fight, or it can be resolved.

• A conflict is resolved when both people feel okay with how things turned out.

• Most conflicts can be resolved when both people use strategies, instead of getting an authority.

Conflict Resolution Strategies

• First, take space and get calm.

• Second, share your feelings.

• Third, solve the problem.

Multiple Choice

When a conflict is resolved, ___.

• Someone wins and someone loses

• Both people get exactly what they want

• Both people give up a little bit, but feel okay about how things turned out

Mrs. Brown and Mr. Jones Conflict

• Mrs. Brown is very organized and likes her desk clean and neat.

• Mr. Jones likes to have everything within their reach, so their desk is messy, with files everywhere.

• One year, Mrs. Brown and Mr. Jones shared one desk space.

• They had a conflict over how clean to keep the space.

Open Ended

"Mrs. Brown and Mr. Jones had a conflict because ____

What Didn't Work

• Arguing and name calling. - "Mr. Jones you're so selfish. You make our desk such a mess!"

• Gossip - "Have you heard how obsessed Mrs. Brown is with our desk? She gets on my nerves!"

• Crossing boundaries. - When Mr. Jones was out, Mrs. Brown touched their stuff without asking.

• Telling an authority. - Mr. Jones complained to Mr. Highsmith about the desk and asked for her help.

Multiple Choice

When Mr. Jones gossiped about Mrs. Brown with other teachers,

Mrs. Brown probably felt ___.

• Annoyed and sad

• More willing to let Dr. Irwin have their way

• Happy to be a topic of conversation

Multiple Choice

When Mrs. Brown organized Mr. Jones things, Mr. Jones probably felt ___.

• Relieved not to have to clean up themselves

• Confused because now they didn't know where everything was

• Grateful to Ms. Bennes for her help

Multiple Choice

When Mrs. Brown and Mr. Jones asked Mr. Highsmith to solve the problem,

Mr. Highsmith probably felt ___.

• Happy to help solve the issue

• Proud that the teachers trusted her to give advice

• Annoyed that the teachers couldn't solve this themselves

What Worked Better

• 1) Taking Space - Mrs. Brown and Mr. Jones waited for a time when they both felt calm and relaxed.

• 2) Sharing feelings.- Mrs. Brown said, "I feel overwhelmed by all the stuff on our desk. I can't find what I need." Mr. Jones said, "I feel like I can't trust you when you touch my things without asking."

• 3) Solving the problem. - a) Compromise - They drew a line across the desk and each person kept their own side how they liked it. b) Agree - Mrs. Brown agreed not to touch Mr. Jones stuff. Mr. Jones agreed to organize their stuff every Friday afternoon. c) Separate - Mrs. Brown and Mr. Jones had different desks the next year.

Open Ended

"One strategy Mr. Jones and Mrs. Brown could use to calm down is ___."

Multiple Choice

Sharing Feelings

Which example will make Mrs. Brown feel more willing to find a compromise?

• "I feel stressed when you touch my things because then I can't find what I need."

• "You are selfish when you touch my things because all you think about it how nice the desk looks."

Multiple Choice

Sharing Feelings

Which example will make Mr. Jones feels more willing to find a compromise?

• "You make messes because you don't care about our work and that makes us look bad."

• "I feel frustrated when I am searching for my lesson and it is covered with your data sheets."

Multiple Choice

Solving the Problem

Which compromise is fair?

• Mrs. Brown and Mr. Jones need to organize their desks in exactly the same way

• Mrs. Brown and Mr. Jones need to keep their stuff on their own side of the desk

Multiple Choice

Examples of ways to solve the problem are:

• a) Compromise

  b) Agree

  c) Separate

• a) Tattle

  b) Fight

  c) Cry

Sam and Kim's Conflict

• Kim is playing Uno with a friend.

• Sam comes over and asks to play. When Kim says no, Sam starts to give advice on how to play better.

• Sam and Kim have a conflict over how to play the game.

Multiple Choice

Sam and Kim should try to solve the conflict...

• When they are both really mad

• After they have taken some space to cool down

Multiple Choice

Telling an adult about the argument...

• Would be annoying and tattling

• Would be helpful so the adult can come up with a solution that works for everyone

Open Ended

Sharing Feelings.

Kim might say, When you give me advice on how to play,

"I feel ____ because ____."

Open Ended

Sharing Feelings.

Sam might say, When you won't let me join the game,

"I feel ____ because ____."

Multiple Choice

Which compromise is fair?

• Everyone has to be able to play every game.

• Sam and Kim can both play Uno, but should play at different times

• Since no one can agree, nobody can play.

Multiple Choice

Agree.

Kim doesn't want to play against or with Sam.

Kim can agree, ____.

• I will let Sam know when my game ends, so he can play with someone else.

• I will play with Sam even when I don't want to.

Multiple Choice

Agree.

Sam wants to be involved in the Uno.

Sam can agree, "___"

• When Kim is playing, I will find something else to do and not give advice.

• I will stand on the other side of the table and give advice to players that aren't Kim.

Multiple Choice

Separate.

When Sam is playing, Kim should ___.

• Try to get the other player to ditch Sam's game and play something else

• Do something fun alone, and let the other students play

Multiple Choice

Separate.

When Kim is playing, Sam should ___.

• Hover nearby until it is time to play

• Do something else fun and come over after the game is over

Decatur and Frye's Conflict

• Decatur enjoys humming along with her favorite Youtube videos.

• Frye gets distracted when there is extra noise and she can't focus.

• Decatur and Frye have a conflict when they both in the same classroom.

Open Ended

"One strategy that won't resolve the conflict is ___ because ____."

Remember the three strategies

Calm, share feelings and choose a solution

Resolving the Conflict

• 1) Taking Space. - During lunch, Decatur stayed apart from Frye and chatted with her friends. She kept her focus on things she liked.

• 2) Sharing Feelings. During a break, Frye asked Decatur to chat. Frye said, "I feel distracted and annoyed when you hum." Decatur said, "I feel hurt when you keep shushing me."

• 3) Solving the problem. a) Compromise - Decatur can hum along when they're both watching a video together, but needs to hum in her head when they're doing different things. b) Agree - Frye won't draw extra attention to Decatur by shushing her. Decatur will listen the first time Frye asks her to stop humming. c) Separate - Twice a week they will sit in different areas of the room so they each can do what they like.

Multiple Choice

The steps to resolve the conflict are:

• 1) Yell until you run out of energy.

  2) Make the other person feel bad.

  3) Prove you were right the whole time.

• 1) Take space and calm down.

  2) Share your feelings.

  3) Solve the problem.

Open Ended

"Next time I have a conflict, I will 1)___, 2) ___, 3) ___."