EOC Practice - Writing Selection #1

What is the most effective way to revise sentence 2?

• They enjoyed playing video games, they bowled and watched movies together.
• They enjoyed playing video games, bowling, and watching movies together.
• They enjoyed playing video games and watched movies together and bowling.
• They enjoyed playing video games, while they also enjoyed movie watching and bowling.

What is the most effective way to combine sentences 7 and 8? 

• He used a wheelchair to get around and communicated through a sophisticated computer system that responded to his eye movements.
• He used a wheelchair to get around, he communicated through a sophisticated computer system that responded to his eye movements.
• Using a wheelchair to get around and communicating through a sophisticated computer system, he responded to his eye movements.
• He used a wheelchair to get around, which communicated through a sophisticated computer system that responded to his eye movements.

Danny would like to add the following detail to the second paragraph (sentences 6-16).
He was a top-ten runner on the track and cross-country teams at Copper Hills High School.
Where is the most effective place to insert this sentence?

• After sentence 9
• After sentence 10
• After sentence 11
• After sentence 12

What is the most effective transition to add to the beginning of sentence 18?

• Consequently
• In fact
• However
• In the end

Danny would like to add a relevant quotation to the end of the third paragraph (sentences 7-22). Which of the following could best follow sentence 22 and help support the ideas in this paragraph?

• "He hangs out with Cameron every weekend," Mack's mom noted.
• "I just felt like it needed to be done," Mack said, "so I did it."
• "High school has been just great," Mack commented.
• "Mack was nice to me and really funny," Cameron explained.

Danny ended his paper abruptly. Which sentence could be added after sentence 32 to bring this paper to a more effective close?

• Isn't it hard to imagine a person in a wheelchair traveling that fast in a race?
• In conclusion, only time will tell how much these amazing runners will be able to accomplish if their friendship stays strong and  their determination brings hope to others.
• Mack and Cameron's story is inspirational, a reminder to the world that challenges can never stop true friendship.
• Obviously, Mack and Cameron will be friends forever and will be sore to make a difference in many exciting ways.