Figurative Language

 Local Man Did Not Own Dino George Jenkins, a local octogenarian, was surprised at being taken literally when he was overheard telling a young whippersnapper that he was so old that he had a pet dinosaur when he was a child. “It was all a silly misunderstanding,” an eyewitness stated. 

• Hyperbole
• Metaphor
• Personification
• Simile

Tic-Tac-Toe Tourney
 Organizers of this past week’s tic-tac-toe tournament credit the recent spring thunderstorm for a record turnout for the event. “The crowd nearly doubled when people came into the tent to get out of the rain,” the tournament president gleefully told a wet reporter.

• Metaphor
• Hyperbole
• Alliteration
• Onomatopoeia

Plant Not a Fan of Mozart
A member of the neighborhood garden club experienced a shock when her peace lily expressed that he was tired of being forced to listen to Mozart. “He said that he wanted to hear a piano concerto by Rachmaninoff,” the plant’s owner told her fellow club members at a luncheon on Wednesday.

• Simile
• Alliteration
• Personification
• Metaphor

Today’s Weather: Warm Like a Friendly Smile 

• Simile
• Metaphor
• Alliteration
• Personification

Roof Leak Related Noises Bother Citizen
The recent spring thunderstorm damaged many roofs around town, resulting in widespread leaks. One resident reported feeling frustrated after trying to catch the leaks in a metal bucket. The plink-plankplink sound caused by the dripping water made it very hard for him to sleep. Residents are warned to avoid him because he may grow cranky and could become unpleasant company. 

• Simile
• Personification
• Metaphor
• Onomatopoeia