October 7-8 - ELAR Bell Ringer Revising/Editing

Which of the following could replace sentence 3 and better articulate the position Kayla is trying to take in this paper?

• A However, in today’s world, where Internet activity is such a common occurrence, an online persona cannot be separated from real-life activities and views.

• B However, in recent years the line between the two has blurred, making it more important than ever for people to be cognizant of how they present themselves online.

• C Social networking, through such sites as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, is common today among teens, adults, and even the elderly.

• D People could act and talk a certain way online, but in real life they may be totally different.

What is the most effective revision to make in sentence 5?

• F It’s easy to snap a photo, load it on a website, and type out a quick synopsis of where they are and what they’re doing.

• G It’s easy to snap a photo and load it on a website, then a quick synopsis is typed out of where they are and what they’re doing.

• H It’s easy to snap a photo that loads it on a website to type a synopsis of where they are and what they’re doing.

• J No revision is needed in this sentence.

Tags

CCSS.L.9-10.1A

3 Sentence 8 contains an indefinite reference that affects the clarity of the sentence. What is the best way to revise this sentence?

• A Change that to some

• B Change he to a boy

• C Change someone to a person

• D Change them to him

Tags

CCSS.L.1.1D

CCSS.L.3.1A