STAAR Editing #1

When they peered inside the silo, they saw Grady calmly looking at them.

• Change When they to When Mach and the veterinarian

• Change peered to glanced

• Change they saw to he saw

• Change looking out to staring

At age 14 he noticed an ad for a pony express rider.

• Changed noticed to notices

• Change for to it was for

• Change pony express to Pony Express

• Sentence 9 does not need to be changed.

I completed the application in my neatest handwriting, carefully prepared for my interview, and gathered a stack of recomendation letters.

• Change completed to completted

• Delete the comma after handwriting

• Change carefully prepared to I carefully prepared

• Change recomendation to recommendation

I decided that I had nothing to loose, so I called the manager and scheduled an interview.

• Change I decided to Deciding

• Change had to hadn't

• Change loose to lose

• Change an to a

Occasionaly, when we don't get what we want, something even better is waiting for us around the corner!

• Change Occasionaly to Occasionally

• Delete the comma after want

• Change even better to even more better

• No change needs to be made

The newly commissioned vessel was initially assigned to defend other U.S. ship's from pirate attacks.

• Change commissioned to comissioned

• Change ship's to ships

• Change pirate to Pirate

• Sentence 6 should not be changed

It was time for the weekly fifth-grade volleyball game, an inevitible scene of mental anguish for me.

• Delete the comma

• Change inevitible to inevitable

• Change scene to seen

• Sentence 2 should not be changed

In this environment it can be hard to stand out, especially if your relatively new.

• Change environment to enviroment

• Delete the comma

• Change your to you're

• No change should be made in the sentence

My experiences in the past will help me successfully manage everything that needs to be acomplished.

• Change experiences to experience's

• Change will help to helped

• Change acomplished to accomplished

• Sentence 15 should not be changed

I probably would have continued trying to keep up with "Big T" for the rest of my high school career, but when my family moved in the middle of Freshman year, everything changed.

• Delete but

• Change Freshman to freshman

• Delete the comma after year

• No change needs to be made in sentence 5.