Building Relationships with Students

Imagine that you have a colleague who makes the following statement:

I don’t have time to “build relationships” with my students. My job is to teach them math, and their job is to learn it.

You decide to share some research-backed reasons why building relationships with students is beneficial. Which of the following is not a benefit of strong relationships with students?

• Students who report strong relationships with their teachers also report being motivated to work harder in their classes.

• Teachers who build strong relationships with students do not have to devote as much time to planning, because their students are naturally more cooperative.

• Students who report strong relationships with their teachers achieve at higher levels in school.

• Teachers who build strong relationships with students experience fewer behavior problems.

Which of the following best describes the difference between authentic and aesthetic relationships?

• Aesthetic relationships are more time-consuming than authentic relationships.

• Authentic relationships are easier to create than aesthetic relationships.

• Authentic relationships reflect deep concern and caring; aesthetic relationships are superficial.

• Aesthetic relationships are stronger than authentic relationships.

Why is knowledge of students an important element of relationship-building?

• In order to be a good teacher, students must consider you a friend.

• It is important for students to feel that the teacher values them and their identities.

• Students need an adult to share important events from their lives with.

• Teacher knowledge of students is not as important as classroom management.

A colleague comes up to you one day in the teacher’s lounge and says the following:

“Things are bad in my classroom right now. There’s a lot of off-task behavior, and I just feel like I’m losing the class. I know that my relationships with a lot of the students aren’t very good, but I don’t really know how to make them better. Do you have any advice?”

All of the following might be good first steps for the teacher to take EXCEPT:

• He should spend time observing and reflecting upon his own interactions with students.

• He should talk to some of his students to understand what it’s like for them to be in his classroom.

• He should begin by tightening up his classroom management. Students need teachers that are appropriately dominant.

• He should spend some time learning about his students – both through informal interactions and contact with their families.

Mrs. Kimball is teaching a reading lesson, and being observed by her administrator. About one-third of her students are English language learners (ELLs), and the remaining two-thirds are native speakers of English. The lesson seems to go well; there are no disruptions, and several students participate.

After school, Mrs. Kimball sits down with her administrator to discuss the observation. About five minutes into the conversation, he makes the following comment: “I’m not sure you noticed this, but you didn’t direct any questions to any of your ELL students during the lesson.”

The discussion continues, and Mrs. Kimball begins to realize that her ELL students are largely invisible in her class. She rarely calls on them, and interacts with them far less frequently than her other students.

She decides that she wants to prioritize building relationships with these students, and ensuring that they get the support they need. Which aspects of teacher-student relationships might she want to prioritize first?

• Knowledge of Self & Knowledge of Students

• Students’ Knowledge of Teacher & Interactions

• Teacher Characteristics & Students’ Knowledge of Teacher

• Teacher Characteristics & Dispositions

Mrs. Kimball takes time to reflect on the knowledge she has of her ELL students. Although she knows that one-third of her students speak Spanish as their primary language, she knows little else about their background.

Mrs. Kimball considers: “Are my students first generation Americans? Which countries do their families come from? What do my students’ parents know about what is going on in my classroom and what do I know about their home lives?”

In order to build better relationships with students Mrs. Kimball decides to take action. Which strategy would best help Mrs. Kimball increase her knowledge of the ELL students in the class?

• Share her philosophy of education with the students, as well as her reason(s) for teaching

• Interview her students about their experience so far in her class

• Call students’ families and guardians to introduce herself and learn more about the students.

• Set norms with her students about affirming and learning from difference.

After reflecting on her interactions with students, Ms. Blankenhorn realizes that she rarely asks her students questions to learn more about their personal lives and interests. She prides herself on being very “businesslike” in her classroom, but has found that it has led to fairly shallow relationships with her students.

She has decided to focus on having more positive, meaningful interactions with her students. Which of the following actions would best help her accomplish this goal, and why?

• Attend student games, performances, and events: Even if she does not have an opportunity to talk to students at these events, they will appreciate seeing her there.

• Invite students to give her feedback on her teaching: This feedback could be used to help the class run more efficiently.

• Making time for informal interactions outside of class: Ms. Blankenhorn could use these interactions to learn more about her students’ lives and interests, and let them learn about her.

• Observe how students interact with peers: Ms. Blankenhorn can investigate how students talk about her when she’s not around.