Sentence Rewriting Analysis Quiz

BEST revision move:

[BB] A few years ago she was trying to create artificial hands and to create artificial fingers that could hold small items, such as coffee cups and pencils.

• Remove repetitive words/information

• Change order of ideas

Tags

CCSS.L.4.1F

What revision, if any, is needed in this sentence?

[CC] Bahor studied the doll and discovered that its knee joints could be moved just as the joints in people's fingers moved.

• No revision needed

• Bahor studied the doll she discovered that its knee joints could be moved just as the joints in people's fingers move.

Tags

CCSS.L.4.1F

BEST revision move for this sentence:

[DD] The groom was wearing a blue flight suit and 240 miles above Earth on the International Space Station floating.

• Change word order for clarity

• Make two separate sentences

Tags

CCSS.L.11-12.3A

CCSS.L.7.1C

What revision, if any, is needed in this sentence?

[EE] The couple had wanted to get married in the same room, but when Malenchenko's mission was extended, they decided not to wait for his return.

• The couple had wanted to get married in the same room when Malenchenko's mission was extended. And decided not to wait for his return.

• No revision is needed

Tags

CCSS.L.3.1E

CCSS.L.4.1B

CCSS.L.5.1.B-D

CCSS.L.5.1C

CCSS.L.5.1D

BEST revision move for this sentence:

[FF] The old money is shredded, and the old money is then used in a variety of ways.

• Make two separate sentences

• Remove repetitive words/information

Tags

CCSS.RI.3.3

CCSS.RI.3.5

CCSS.RI.4.3

CCSS.RI.4.5

CCSS.RI.5.3

What revision, if any, is needed in this sentence?

[GG] The hot air escaped, the balloon began to sink slowly.

• As the hot air escaped, the balloon began to sink slowly.

• No revision needed

Tags

CCSS.L.4.1F

BEST revision move:

[HH] He checked with a laptop computer that he had for checking electronic charts and weather maps.

• Remove words and reorder ideas to eliminate repetitiveness

• Separate ideas into two different sentences

What revision, if any, is needed in this sentence?

[II] Then he would move on, he would swish his tail in Rabbit's angry face.

• Then he would move on and swish in Rabbit's angry face his tail.

• Then he would move on, swishing his tail in Rabbit's angry face.

Tags

CCSS.L.11-12.3A

CCSS.L.7.1C

BEST revision move:

[JJ] Possum loosened the scarf, and Possum leaped onto the dance floor.

• Eliminate repeated subject and combine verbs with conjunction

• Insert a comma to separate the two complete ideas

Tags

CCSS.L.1.1C

CCSS.L.3.1A

CCSS.L.3.1F

CCSS.L.3.1H

CCSS.L.3.1I

What is the MOST effective way to rewrite the ideas:

[MM] A museum guide explained that after their first record is released, it is 25 years later when artists are eligible for the Hall of Fame.

• A museum guide explained that after their first record is released, it is 25 years later. When artists are eligible for the Hall of Fame.

• A museum guide explained that artists are eligible for the Hall of Fame 25 years after their first record is released.

Tags

CCSS.RI.4.9

CCSS.RI.5.9

CCSS.RL.4.2

CCSS.RL.5.2

CCSS.RL.6.2