Revise and Edit 3

You might not know her name. You have likely read some of her literature.

What is the best way to revise the sentence?

• Although you might not know her name, it is likely that you have read some of her literature.

• You might not know her name and you have read some of her literature.

• You have likely read some of her literature, not knowing her name.

• You have likely not known her name and read some of her literature without knowing her name. You might not know her name. You have likely read some of her literature. #

Anna Marie was one of the most famous activists of all time. She started three movements.

What is the best way to combine the sentences?

• She was one of the most famous activists of all time, she started three movements

• She was one of the most famous activists of all time; however, she started three movements.

• Anna Marie, one of the most famous activists of all time, started three movements.

• Although Anna Marie was one of the most famous activists of all time, she started three movements.

We were listening to the radio. Which gave me an idea.

What is the best way to combine the sentences?

• Although we were listening to the radio I was given an idea.

• We were listening to the radio, which gave me an idea.

• Listening to the radio, which we were doing, gave me an idea.

• Listening to the radio, which is what gave me an idea.

You don’t want to get bit by this deadly spider. It has poison oozing from its fangs.

What is the best way to combine the sentences?

• You don’t want to get bit by this deadly spider, it has poison oozing from its fangs.

• Although it has poison oozing from its fangs, you don’t want to get bit by this deadly spider.

• You don’t want to get bit by this deadly spider, for it has poison oozing from its fangs.

• When this spider is deadly, it has fangs with poison oozing from them.

Tags

CCSS.L.5.3A

The breaks stopped working, Thomas lost control.

What is the best way to revise the sentences?

• When the breaks stopped working, Thomas lost control.

• Thomas was losing control, and the breaks stopped working.

• The breaks stopped working and this is when Thomas was losing control.

• The breaks stopped working, but Thomas lost control.

Tags

CCSS.L.5.3A

CCSS.W.5.4

Traci was on the bus and this is when she remembered she had homework.

What is the best way to revise the sentence?

• Being on the bus is when Traci remembered she had homework.

• It was when Traci was on the bus that Traci remembered she had homework.

• Traci was on the bus, but this is when she remembered she had homework.

• Traci was on the bus when she remembered she had homework.

During the student’s presentation, her phone began to ring.

What is the best way to revise the sentence?

• The student was presenting and this is when her phone began to ring.

• Presenting is when her phone began to ring.

• During the student’s presentation; her phone began to ring.

• No change is needed

Tags

CCSS.L.5.2B

CCSS.L.5.3A

CCSS.W.5.4

Today its memory continues. Reminding us of the great sacrifices that were made for our freedom.

What is the best way to revise the sentence?

• Today its memory continues; it continues to remind us of the great sacrifices that were made for our freedom.

• The memory continues today and it reminds us of the great sacrifices that were made for our freedom.

• Reminding of us of great sacrifices that were made for our freedom is when the memory continues.

• Today its memory continues, reminding us of the great sacrifices that were made for our freedom.

Today its memory continues. Reminding us of the great sacrifices that were made for our freedom.

What is the best way to revise the sentence?

• Today its memory continues; it continues to remind us of the great sacrifices that were made for our freedom.

• The memory continues today and it reminds us of the great sacrifices that were made for our freedom.

• Reminding of us of great sacrifices that were made for our freedom is when the memory continues.

• Today its memory continues, reminding us of the great sacrifices that were made for our freedom.

Each day, I observe the animals. Looking for signs of pain or discomfort.

What is the best way to revise the sentence?

• Each day, I observe the animals for signs of pain or discomfort.

• Each day, I observe signs of pain or discomfort in animals I am observing.

• Observing pain or discomfort is what I looked for each day.

• The sentence is written correctly.