REVISE & EDIT CDB

(1) Visions of Mikayla’s favorite cooking show flashes through her mind. (2) How exactly did Chef Luciano toss the pizza dough to flatten it and make a perfect circle? (3) Mikayla placed the dough on her right fist and then spins it into the air, trying to mimic the chef.

What change should be made in sentence 3?

• Change then to than

• Change spins to spun

• Change it to them

(4) Unfortunately she didn’t realize how difficult it would be to control flying dough. (5) Moments later dough bits hung from the ceiling, clung to the counter, and fell to the floor. (6) Mikayla’s parents surveyed the messy kitchen when they arrived home although they were surprised, they were not upset about her attempt to make pizza for dinner.

What is the correct way to write sentence 6?

• Mikayla’s parents surveyed the messy kitchen when they arrived home, although they were surprised. They were not upset, about her attempt to make pizza for dinner.

• Mikayla’s parents surveyed the messy kitchen when they arrived home. Although they were surprised, they were not upset. About her attempt to make pizza for dinner.

• Mikayla’s parents surveyed the messy kitchen when they arrived home. Although they were surprised, they were not upset about her attempt to make pizza for dinner.

(7) “How about going to Tony’s Pizzeria tonight?” suggested Mikayla’s dad with a grin. (8) “Surely someone at the restauront can show you how to properly twirl pizza dough.”

What change should be made in sentence 8?

• Change Surely to Similarly

• Change restauront to restaurant

• Change properly to proper

(1) Our family should visit Space Center Houston over spring break. (2) Where else would we have the opportunity to meet an astronaut or touch a rock from the moon? (3) We could learn all about space travel and the Solar System. (4) Exhibits display space suits worn by astronauts as well as replicas of a shuttle and a space laboratory.

What change, if any, should be made in sentence 3?

• Change could learn to could have learned

• Insert a comma after travel

• Change Solar System to solar system

(5) We have talked about spending our vacation at an amusement park. (6) But, Mom doesn’t ride roller coasters, and Dad prefers educational places. (7) Space Center Houston has activities that our whole family is enjoying. (8) Check out the website for more information about this popular tourist destination and to read the latest news on space exploration. (9) If we go to Space Center Houston, each of us are sure to have a fun and fascinating experience.

What is the correct way to write sentence 7?

• Space Center Houston has activities that our whole family will enjoy.

• Space Center Houston has activities that our whole family have been enjoying.

• Space Center Houston has activities that our whole family had enjoyed.

(5) We have talked about spending our vacation at an amusement park. (6) But, Mom doesn’t ride roller coasters, and Dad prefers educational places. (7) Space Center Houston has activities that our whole family is enjoying. (8) Check out the website for more information about this popular tourist destination and to read the latest news on space exploration. (9) If we go to Space Center Houston, each of us are sure to have a fun and fascinating experience.

What change should be made in sentence 9?

• Change If to Unless

• Change are to is

• Change fascinating to fasinating

(1) It’s no secret that kids our age enjoy spending time on a computer or a cell phone. (2) Health experts tell us that we need to exercise for at least an hour a day, but tearing ourselves away from our electronic devices can be hard. (3) Playing a team sport is one way to get this exercise. (4) Not every kid wants to join a team. (5) For anyone who wants a fun, healthy way to exercise at his or her own pace, I have a suggestion: take a martial-arts class!

What is the MOST effective way for Rose to combine sentences 3 and 4?

• Playing a team sport is one way to get this exercise, so not every kid wants to join a team.

• Playing a team sport is one way to get this exercise, but not every kid wants to join a team.

• Not every kid wants to join a team, also playing a team sport is one way to get this exercise.

(7) I know from experience that studying martial arts can help you improve your physical fitness. (8) When my parents, at age seven, insisted I get off the couch and “do something,” I began taking karate. (9) At first it was difficult for me to complete the kicking, punching, and blocking drills in karate. (10) I practiced every week to get my heart pumping and at striking foam pads with my hands to help improve my technique.

Sentence 8 lacks clarity. What is the MOST effective change Rose can make to improve the clarity of this sentence?

• I began taking karate at age seven when my parents insisted I get off the couch and “do something.”

• My parents insisted I get off the couch and “do something” when I began taking karate at age seven.

• When I began taking karate, my parents insisted I get off the couch and “do something” at age seven.

(13) Taking a martial arts class is not just good for improving physical fitness. (14) Classes usually begin with breathing exercises and a time of silence to help clear the mind. (15) By engaging in these activities, students can learn how to train their minds to be calm and alert. (16) Developing strong mental focus helps participants respond to an instructor’s commands and helps participants sense when to adjust their form.

Which of the following sentences should replace sentence 13 to serve as a more effective topic sentence of this paragraph?

• As if the physical benefits weren’t enough, participating in martial arts also helps kids develop strong mental focus.

• Many people are surprised by the variety of benefits that they receive from taking a martial arts class.

• Taking a martial arts class will certainly help someone get in better shape physically, but that’s not the only benefit.

(19) The longer people train in martial arts, the better they become at self-discipline. (20) They learn that self-discipline and determination are needed to advance in martial arts. (21) By really pushing themselves to improve, people learn to conquer self-doubt. (22) This determination can even lead to better grades and behavior at school. (23) One study revealed that students’ behavior in school improved after they attended just 10 weeks of martial-arts training thanks to its emphasis on self-discipline.

Which word would be a more accurate word to use than really in sentence 21?

• actually

• honestly

• constantly