Concision

She had ideas of her own, including an idea of hers for a torpedo with a radio-controlled guidance system.

• NO CHANGE

• one idea that she had

• her own idea

• one

Tags

CCSS.L.3.1A

CCSS.L.6.1A

CCSS.L.6.1C

CCSS.L.6.1D

We tried to steady ourselves with our walking sticks but slipped and stumbled because of the jumbled rocks we were slipping on.

• NO CHANGE

• even though we used our walking sticks.

• despite any efforts to remain steady.

• with each step.

Tags

CCSS.L.2.1E

CCSS.L.3.1A

CCSS.L.3.1G

Suzie believed but could not confirm that Billy had feelings for her.

• had a feeling, but wasn't sure,

• assumed

• NO CHANGE

Tags

CCSS.L.3.2C

CCSS.L.4.2B

CCSS.L.6.3A

Which is more concise?

• With much hesitance, I made my way to the dance floor.

• Hesitantly, I made my way to the dance floor.

Tags

CCSS.W.9-10.2D

Which is more concise?

• At this point in time we should demonstrate, as has always been the case in the past, much trust in the good judgement of the CEO.

• Now, as always, we should trust the CEO.

Which option is more concise?

• A bear ate the trash in the neighbor's yard.

• There was a bear that ate the trash in the neighbor's yard.

Tags

CCSS.W.9-10.2

CCSS.W.9-10.4

Which option is more concise?

• Students must complete the application.

• It is required that students complete the application.

Tags

CCSS.W.9-10.4

This allowed the cave-creating process to be a process that repeated at different depths hundreds of feet apart.

• NO CHANGE

• repeat again and again at various different depths.

• repeat at different depths that varied.

• repeat at different depths.

Tags

CCSS.L.11-12.3A

CCSS.L.7.1C

Over many weeks, as time goes by, her collection slowly grows: clay bowls, cups, vases, and sculptures fill the studio.

• NO CHANGE

• with the passing of time,

• gradually,

• REMOVE the underlined portion.

Tags

CCSS.L.2.1E

CCSS.L.3.1A

CCSS.L.3.1G

It is September, and some of the trees are starting to blush red and orange at their tips.

• NO CHANGE

• Due to the fact that it is

• Because it has turned into

• REMOVE the underlined part.

Tags

CCSS.L.3.1A

CCSS.L.3.1D