Figurative Language #28 (apr) puns

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I. . .

• (A) kept drinking the merchandise,

• (B) got canned because I couldn't concentrate,

• (C) am not a morning person,

• (D) have never been good at factoring.

Tags

CCSS.L.8.5A

What happened when a dentist and a manicurist got into an argument?

• (A) They were both fired.

• (B) They went out of business.

• (C) They fought tooth and nail.

• (D) They had a close brush with the law.

Tags

CCSS.L.8.5A

What do you call a train loaded with bubblegum?

• (A) a blow out

• (B) a chew chew train

• (C) a tootsie tweet

• (D) a pop tart

Tags

CCSS.L.8.5A

What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?

• (A) a milkweed

• (B) a milk dud

• (C) curdled

• (D) a milky no way

Tags

CCSS.L.8.5A

The best way to communicate with a fish is . . .

• (A) with a waterproof phone,

• (B) to worm your way into the conversation,

• (C) with a rebate,

• (D) to drop it a line.

Tags

CCSS.L.8.5A

Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinding machine and. . .

• (A) made a spectacle of himself,

• (B) was able to see a way out,

• (C) became more transparent,

• (D) concaved to the pressure?

Tags

CCSS.L.8.5A

What would you get if you crossed a parrot with a centipede?

• (A) a flying worm

• (B) 1002 legs

• (C) feathers with legs

• (D) a walkie-talkie

Tags

CCSS.L.8.5A

Police were called to the daycare center because a three year old. .

• (A) locked himself in the bathroom,

• (B) was resisting a rest,

• (C) was caught with a loaded diaper,

• (D) bit Mr. Meaner.

Tags

CCSS.L.8.5A

What would you get if your crossed an electric eel with a sponge?

• (A) a shocking bath

• (B) a slippery soap

• (C) a shock absorber

• (D) a dry cell battery

Tags

CCSS.L.8.5A

What is both musical and handy in a supermarket?

• (A) quarter notes

• (B) a Chopin List

• (C) an egg beater

• (D) waltz of cash

Tags

CCSS.L.8.5A