Wordiness & Redundancy

Allison took me to a party that was a very fun time.

• Correct as is

• Wordy

• Redundant

Allison took me to a party that was a very fun time.

• No change

• I had a fun time at the party Allison took me to attend.

• Allison took me to a very fun party.

• I had the time of my life at the fun party with Allison.

I enjoy getting my nourishment by way of fried foods.

• Correct as is

• Redundant

• Wordy

I enjoy getting my nourishment by way of friend foods.

• No change

• I enjoy eating my favorite food, fried food.

• I could eat friend foods until I explode.

• I enjoy eating fried foods.

He wrote a newspaper article, being the place in which most of his stories had first appeared.

• No change

• in which the newspaper where

• in which

• being where

She worked 30 years as a teacher and a librarian in the field of education in LA public schools.

• omit "30"

• omit "and librarian"

• omit "in the field of education"

• omit "LA public"

Over many weeks, as time went by, her chores increased in difficulty as laundry piled up.

• no change

• with the passing of time,

• gradually,

• omit the bold portion

Justin is a very friendly and amicable guy.

• Correct as is

• Redundant

• Wordy

Justin is a very friendly and amicable guy.

• No change

• Justin is as good as gold.

• Justin is such a friendly and amicable guy.

• Justin is an amicable guy.

The essay contains pertinent information that offers relevant facts for doing well on the test.

• No change

• Do well on this test: read pertinent information and facts.

• Read the fine print in the essay to do well on the test.

• The essay contains relevant facts for doing well on the test.