Revising Practice

11. What is the most effective transition to add to the beginning of sentence 2?

• A   In fact

• B   That’s because

• C   However

• D   Additionally

12 . Which of the following can BEST replace sentence 5 and serve as a more effective topic sentence for Rebecca’s paper?

• F   Dealing with the traffic is no fun, but people feel it’s worth it because it’s important.

• G  People are willing to deal with the traffic because the event is deeply meaningful and connects them with others who also want to honor their departed family heroes.

• H  The traffic is bad because so many people come to the event to lay wreaths on the graves of veterans.

• J   People come to Wreaths Across America even though they have to deal with traffic jams.

13. What is the BEST way to revise sentence 9?

• A  Then the wreaths are delivered to the National Cemeteries, they are simultaneously laid on the graves all the way across the nation on the third Saturday of December.

• B  Then the wreaths are delivered to the National Cemeteries, and simultaneously laid on the graves, and it’s all the way across the nation and it’s on the third Saturday of December.

• C  Then the wreaths are delivered to the National Cemeteries and simultaneously laid on graves on the third Saturday of December and it’s all the way across the nation.

• D  Then, on the third Saturday of December, the wreaths are delivered to National Cemeteries and simultaneously laid on graves all the way across the nation.

14.  What is the most effective revision to make in sentence 10?

• F  People die twice: once when they take their last breath and again when their name is spoken for the last time, an old proverb says.

• G  An old proverb says that people die twice and once is when they take their last breath and the second time people die is when their name is spoken for the last time.

• H  An old proverb says that people die twice and when their name is spoken for the last time is the second time they die and the first time is when they take their last breath.

• J  Sentence 10 is written correctly in the paper.

15.  Rebecca has left an important detail out of the third paragraph (sentences 10 – 14).  Karen is the executive director of Wreaths Across America.  Where is the BEST place to insert this sentence?

• A   Before sentence 11

• B   After sentence 11

• C   After sentence 12

• D   After sentence 14

16. Rebecca would like to add a detail to support the idea she has presented in sentence 14.  Which sentence could BEST follow and provide support for sentence 14?

• F  Loved ones of departed veterans should remember, honor, and teach

• G  The National Cemeteries are where American veterans are buried, many of whom perished in combat, defending the security of our nation.

• H  Members of all military branches, as well as certain civilians, are buried at Fort Sam Houston National Cemetery.

• J  The three words ask Americans to remember our fallen veterans, honor those who serve, and teach your children the value of freedom.

17. The meaning of sentence 18 can be clarified by changing It to -

• A   The wreaths

• B   People

• C   His idea

• D   National Cemeteries

18  Rebecca has included an extraneous sentence in the fifth  paragraph (sentences 19 – 23).  Which sentence should be deleted from this paragraph?

• F   Sentence 20

• G   Sentence 21

• H   Sentence 22

• J    Sentence 23

19.  Rebecca would like to revise sentence 25 so that it provides a more effective closing for the fifth paragraph (sentences 19 -25).  Which of the following could replace sentence 25 and BEST accomplish this goal?

• A  It makes us feel closer to our departed ancestors and makes us feel proud of the sacrifices they made in defense of our nation.

• B  The wreaths are laid after the ceremony takes place.

• C  The traffic is always backed up because so many people want to attend the event.

• D  We always go on the third Saturday of December.

20. Rebecca wants to close her paper with a call to action.  Which of these sentences could be added after sentence 29 to accomplish this goal?

• F  Fort Sam Houston National Cemetery is open three hundred, sixty-five days a year.

• G  If you’re interested in volunteering or learning more about Wreaths Across America, check out their website – www.wreathsacrossamerica.org

• H  The National Cemetery at Fort Sam Houston is easy to find.

• J  The weather is not always bad on the third Saturday of December, but be sure to dress warm, just in case.