Revising and editing practice

Mimi's essay does not have a strong position statement. Which of the following sentences should replace sentence 6 to serve as an effective position statement?

• It is foolish...

• People need to stop...

• These problems can be solved...

• The list of problems...

What is the most effective way to combine sentences 8 and 9?

• Bottled water may be attractively packaged, but it is simply processed tap water.

• Bottled water is simply processed tap water because it is attractively packaged.

• Bottled water may be attractively packaged, so it is simply processed tap water.

• Bottled water is attractively packaged, because it is simply processed tap water.

Tags

CCSS.L.2.1F

CCSS.L.3.1H

CCSS.L.3.1I

CCSS.L.5.1E

CCSS.L.7.1B

Mimi wants to improve the transition between the third paragraph (sentences 14–18) and the fourth paragraph (sentences 19–23). Which sentence can be added before sentence 19 to accomplish this goal?

• Because bottled water can cost so much, a reusable water bottle is a wise investment.

• People think bottled water is harmless, and other plastic containers are just as bad.

• Money is a concern for many people, so it should be saved whenever possible.

• Bottled water is a huge monetary expense, but the cost to our planet is even greater.

Tags

CCSS.RI. 9-10.2

CCSS.RI.11-12.2

CCSS.RL.11-12.2

CCSS.RL.8.2

CCSS.RL.9-10.2

What is the most effective way to revise sentence 21?

• Also consider that many bottles are discarded into landfills, where the bottles release chemicals as they decompose over hundreds of years.

• Also consider that landfills are filled with released chemicals, where they decompose many discarded bottles over hundreds of years.

• These bottles, decomposing over hundreds of years, should also be considered to release chemicals where they have been discarded into landfills.

• Over hundreds of years, landfills are filled with many bottles, and it should also be considered that the bottles decompose and release chemicals.

Tags

CCSS.L.11-12.3A

CCSS.L.7.1C

Mimi wants to conclude her essay by motivating her readers to take action. Which of the following statements should she insert after sentence 29 to accomplish this goal?

• The future of our planet depends on people like you doing away with a terrible threat—plastic water bottles.

• We should make the decision today to be smart about our finances and responsible with our planet by opting for reusable water bottles.

• Think of how much you can help the fish in our lakes, rivers, and oceans by avoiding bottled water.

• Choose reusable water bottles, and watch your savings grow.

What change, if any, needs to be made in sentence 2?

• Change being to I am

• Insert a comma after childhood

• Change plays to playing

• Sentence 2 should not be changed.

Tags

CCSS.L.3.1E

CCSS.L.4.1B

CCSS.L.5.1.B-D

CCSS.L.5.1C

CCSS.L.5.1D

What is the correct way to write sentence 5?

• pull gently at its crisp brown shell, the aroma of its gooey sweetness that teases my nostrils.

• As I pull gently at its crisp brown shell, the aroma of its gooey sweetness teases my nostrils.

• Pulling gently at its crisp brown shell, the aroma of its gooey sweetness teasing my nostrils.

• When I pull gently at its crisp brown shell, and the aroma of its gooey sweetness teasing my nostrils.

Tags

CCSS.L.11-12.3A

CCSS.L.7.1C

How should sentence 8 be changed?

• Insert a comma after grass

• Change reminds to reminding

• Change playing to to play

• Change Soccer to soccer

Tags

CCSS.L.4.2C

CCSS.L.6.2A

What change, if any, is needed in sentence 18?

• Insert a comma after way

• Change is processed to has processed

• Change centers’ to centers

• Sentence 18 should not be changed.

Tags

CCSS.L.4.2C

CCSS.L.6.2A

What change, if any, needs to be made to sentence 20?

• Delete the comma

• Insert a comma after today

• Change innocent to inocent

• Make no change to sentence 20.

Tags

CCSS.L.4.2C

CCSS.L.6.2A