CARRS STRATEGY FOR REVISING

What is the BEST way to combine sentences 16 and 17?

• However, you’ll move from one part of the country to another when you’ll be handed off

  from one regional control center to another.

• As you move from one part of the country to another, you’ll be handed off from one

  regional control center to another.

• You’ll move from one part of the country to another, you’ll be handed off from one

  regional control center to another.

• You’ll move from one part of the country to another after you’ll be handed off from one

  regional control center to another.

Tags

CCSS.RI.6.3

CCSS.RI.6.5

CCSS.RI.7.3

CCSS.RI.7.5

CCSS.RI.8.5

Nikki needs to establish a more effective controlling idea in her paper.

Which rewrite of sentence 8 can BEST accomplish this goal?

• The nation’s air traffic controllers have to sit in front of computer screens.

• They work day and night to keep millions of air travelers safe.

• With so many planes in the sky, they are critical folks.

• The air traffic controllers are important contributors to the scene.

Tags

CCSS.RI.6.2

CCSS.RI.7.2

CCSS.RI.8.2

CCSS.RL.6.2

CCSS.RL.7.2

What is the BEST revision to make in sentence 13?

• Controllers on the ground will let you know which runway to use they’ll also let you know

  when it’s your turn to take off.

• Controllers on the ground will let you know which runway to use. And when it’s your turn

  to take off.

• Controllers are on the ground which will let you know which runway to use and when it’s

  your turn to take off.

• Sentence 13 does not need to be revised.

Tags

CCSS.RI.6.3

CCSS.RI.7.3

CCSS.RI.7.5

CCSS.RI.8.3

CCSS.RI.8.5

What change should be made in sentence 19?

• Change controllers to guys

• Change ready to prepared

• Change our to your

• Change orderly to good

Tags

CCSS.RI.6.3

CCSS.RI.6.5

CCSS.RI.7.3

CCSS.RI.7.5

CCSS.RI.8.3

Justin wants to improve his introduction. How can he rewrite sentence 6 to provide more

detail and imagery?

• I told my parents in every way I could think of that the city simply wasn’t the place for

  me.

• The traffic, the busyness, and the noises of the city would be nothing compared with the

  beautiful, amazing, lovely countryside.

• Without fields to roam, horses to ride, and streams to fish, what could the city possibly

  have to offer?

• The city wasn’t going to be the great place to live that the country had always been.

Tags

CCSS.RI.5.5

CCSS.RI.6.5

CCSS.RI.7.5

CCSS.RI.8.5

CCSS.RI.9-10.5

Justin has used a poor choice of words in sentence 24. He should change stuff to —

• rituals

• items

• opportunities

• places

Tags

CCSS.RI.6.10

CCSS.RI.7.10

CCSS.RI.8.10

CCSS.RL.7.10

CCSS.RL.8.10

What is the most effective way to combine sentences 11 and 12?

• While training on a Connecticut field, Conroy found a stray dog that won his heart.

• He was training on a Connecticut field because he found a stray dog that won his heart.

• Training on a Connecticut field, a stray dog that he found won Conroy’s heart.

• He was training on a Connecticut field, there, Conroy found a stray dog that won his heart.

Tags

CCSS.RI.6.5

CCSS.RI.7.3

CCSS.RI.7.5

CCSS.RI.8.3

CCSS.RI.8.5