Revising Practice

(5) Nike has been making and selling shoes for nearly 70 years. (6) When the company first began, Nike made only running shoes and soccer cleats. (7) There are many different types of shoe available, including casual shoes, basketball shoes, and even high heels! 

Martin needs to add a transition word or phrase to help his readers move from sentence 6 to sentence 7. Which transition would BEST be added to the beginning of sentence 7?

• Afterward

• Today

• At first

• Then

(12) Cleaning out our pool for the summer turned out to be a bit more work than we had expected. (13) Thousands of leaves had collected throughout the winter season, and all we had at the house was one small net. (14) The blue net is connected at the end of a long, silver pole. (15) In order to even get the leaves into a position where we could gather them with the net, we had to use a long skinny brush to push them off of the bottom of the pool. (16) Finally, once the leaves had slowly floated to the surface of the water, we could use our net to remove them from the water.  

The third paragraph (sentences 12–16) is hard to follow because one of the sentences does not belong. Which sentence should Adrian delete from this paragraph?

•  Sentence 13

•  Sentence 15

•  Sentence 14

•  Sentence 17

(10) African wild dogs live in close groups. (11)They form big packs. (12) One pack can have as many as 45 dogs. (13) All of the dogs in a pack hunt together. (14 ) They team up to chase down antelope, gazelles and zebras. (15) The dogs are very fast runners. 

Derrick wants to add a sentence to tell more about the idea he has expressed in

sentence 15. Which of these would BEST follow and support sentence 15?

• An average dog is about 30 to 44 inches long.

• They live in huge packs. 

•  In each pack, there is a male leader and a female leader.

• They can reach speeds up to 40 miles an hour.

(3) I was stunned by how much we could see from the top of the mountain. (4) Tired, my mom suggested that we sit down for a second (5) And take off our hiking backpacks. (6) Up until then, I had never been to the top of a mountain.  

What is the correct way to write sentences 4 and 5?

•  My mom suggested that we sit down for a second, we took off our hiking backpacks.  

•  My mom suggested that we sit down for a second and take off our hiking backpacks.  

•  My mom suggesting that we sit down for a second and take off our hiking backpacks.  

•  Sentences 4 and 5 are correct in the paper.

(4) Today’s cellphones look and operate very differently from the cell phones that were first invented. (5) The first cell phones didn’t have screens and could only make calls. (6) If you wanted to send a message to a friend, it would have to be a voicemail. (7) Now, nearly all of them have touch screens and advanced features. (8) When using a modern cell phone, you can do practically everything a computer does.  

The meaning of sentence 7 is unclear. Natalie can improve this sentence by

changing them to —

•  the screens

• inventions

• these devices 

• people

(11) Unlike other cats, a cheetah cannot pull its claws in. (12) The claws dig into the ground as the cheetah runs, which increases its speed. (13) Other large cats, such as tigers, would rather surprise their prey. (14) This uses up a lot of energy. (15) Cheetahs often rest before eating their kill. (16) They cannot wait too long, however. (17) If they do, other carnivores, like hyenas, will try to steal it. 

Chad wants to add the following sentence somewhere in paragraph 3 (sentences 11-19). Where is the best place to add the sentence provided below? 

But cheetahs prefer to chase down their prey.

• Before sentence 13

• After sentence 13

• Before sentence 16

• This sentence should not be added to paragraph 3

(1) During the Super Bowl, football players aren’t the only ones hoping to win. (2) Advertisers are, too. (3) Each one wants to win the home viewer's attention. (4) Each company hopes to have the most popular commercial of the day. (5) The Super Bowl is the biggest television advertising event of the year. (6) This past Super Bowl, many of the ads were big hits. (7) Its ad angered many viewers.

Where does the following sentence need to be added to the paragraph in order to strengthen the main idea of this opening paragraph? 

Things didn't work out well for one advertiser, though.

• After sentence 6

• Before sentence 6

• At the beginning of the paragraph

• This sentence does not need to be added to the paragraph above.

(7) In the early 1900s, Henry Ford created a process for building cars very quickly (8) Many years of improvements led to the Model T, the first family car. (9) Not only was the Model T affordable, but it was also much faster than using a horse or bicycle. (10) Word spread rapidly that this new technology was a great resource for transportation. (11) Every family in the city was trading in their horses for a brand new car!  

Which transition word or phrase could BEST be added to the beginning of sentence 11?

• For example

• However

• Soon

• In conclusion

(1) My brother likes to go hunting for deer in the fall. (2) He’s been hunting for as long

as I can remember. (3) He’s thirty-three years old now. (4) When I was young, he told me he would teach me how to hunt when I became a teenager.  (5) But as I grew older, the thought of killing a defenseless animal made me sick to my stomach. (6) I was also uncomfortable holding a gun, and afraid that I would miss my target. (7) I made every excuse I could think of to avoid going hunting with my brother. 

Jared is revising his paper and wants to eliminate information that is not absolutely important to his story. Which sentence should Jared delete from his paper?

• Sentence 3

•   Sentence 4

•   Sentence 5

•   Sentence 6

(2) Dr. Bradford and his assistants travel from city to city providing care for animals who are sick or injured at the zoo.  (3) The anxious animals wait anxiously for the veterinarian to arrive. (4) They know that he will provide relief from the pain and suffering that they have been enduring.  

What is the BEST way to revise sentence 3?

•   The animals wait anxiously for the veterinarian to arrive.  

•   The animals wait anxiously. For the veterinarian to arrive.

•   The animals are anxious, they wait anxiously for the veterinarian to arrive.

•   The animals who are anxious wait anxiously for the veterinarian to arrive.