Lutheran Presentation, All About that Mass

Luther doesn't believe in the priestly monopoly. Instead he emphasized:

• John Calvin

• Justification

• Hierarchy

• The Priesthood of all Believers

Which of the following did Luther list as an abuse of the church?

• The Papacy and its decadence

• Priests drinking too much wine after communion

• The silencing of God's Word

• John Knox

Which of the following would Luther consider a pure Christian legend?

• St. Paul encountering Jesus on the road to Damascus

• King Arthur crossing the Bridge of Death

• St. Francis Befriending a Wolf

• Gandalf the Grey journeying to the Mines of Moria

Why should a Christian go to a worship service?

• They want to go to heaven

• For the glory of God and the neighbor's good

• Hozier needed a ride so that he could "worship like a dog"

• To meet cute singles in their area

What does Luther suggest for the lessons and sermons of mass?

• They must only come from the Psalms

• The preferred language is Latin

• They must be in the language of the people

• Bread

What does Luther see as a commendable addition by the early Church Fathers?

• Fog machines and teleportation

• The prayers in the canon

• Candles

• Kyrie Eleison

According to Luther, what is the worst abuse of the service?

• Inclusion of Christian legends/fables

• The service is performed as a work to win salvation

• God's Word has been Silenced

• Not enough hymns are being sung

Luther shares his reform of the mass so that Hausmann can:

• Collect a new offering to support Luther

• Immediately implement all Luther's reforms without question

• Abolish the mass service completely

• Imitate some/all of the reforms after careful discernment and reflection

How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb?

• 95

• Two,

  One "alien" and one "proper"

• Three=

  One to hold the ladder, one to climb the ladder, and one to hold the booze

• What do you mean by the word "change?" Am I saying that right? Change? What does that word mean?

How did Lisa Simpson create Lutherans?

• While running tests on amoebas, she starts selling them indulgences for their dead family members

• The bacteria growing on her baby tooth becomes intelligent and one nails something to the door of the cathedral

• She built a colony of ants when she notices that "Pope Ant-Leo X" excommunicates "Mart-ant Luther"

• She studies a micro-cultures of religious bacteria. But when Homer accidentally exposes the bacteria to bratwurst and beer, they become German and start the Reformation