Revising & Editing Practice 1

Which of the following would be a good thesis statement for a persuasive essay persuading others to vote:

• Can you believe this outrageous statistic?

• This low voter turnout is appalling, and all Americans should exercise their right to vote.

• I plan to vote in both national and local elections.

• There are groups that review human rights violations in this country as well as in other countries around the world.

What is the most effective way to combine sentences 10 and 11?

(10) This idea of taxation without representation is part of the reason our forefathers were determined. (11) They wanted to separate from Great Britain and form their own nation.

• This idea of taxation without representation is part of the reason our forefathers were determined, who wanted to separate from Great Britain and form their own nation.

• This idea of taxation without representation is part of the reason our forefathers were determined to separate from Great Britain and form their own nation.

• This idea of taxation without representation is part of the reason our forefathers were determined because they separated from Great Britain and formed their own nation.

• This idea of taxation without representation is part of the reason our forefathers were determined separating from Great Britain and forming their own nation.

Tags

CCSS.L.2.1F

CCSS.L.3.1H

CCSS.L.3.1I

CCSS.L.5.1E

CCSS.L.7.1B

Damian would like to use a more appropriate transition in sentence 14. Which of the following is the best replacement for Therefore?

(13) Even today this right is very limited in some countries around the world. (14) Therefore, in Saudi Arabia the government operates under an absolute monarchy, and people have no opportunity to vote in national elections.

• Furthermore

• Meanwhile

• However

• For example

Tags

CCSS.RI.11-12.5

CCSS.RI.9-10.5

CCSS.RI.6.5

CCSS.RI.7.5

CCSS.RI.8.5

What is the most effective way to revise sentence 21?

(21) It’s astounding to me that one of the lowest voter turnout rates in the United States is what Texas has.

• Because it’s astounding to me, Texas has one of the lowest voter turnout rates in the United States.

• It’s astounding to me what Texas has being one of the lowest voter turnout rates in the United States.

• It’s astounding to me that Texas has one of the lowest voter turnout rates in the United States.

• As astounding as it is, it’s also shocking that Texas has one of the lowest voter turnout rates in the United States.

Tags

CCSS.L.3.1A

The meaning of sentence 23 is unclear. What is the most effective way to clarify the meaning of this sentence?

(23) And in local elections sometimes less than 10 percent of the voting population chooses who will make them.

• Change sometimes to there are times when

• Change population to citizenry

• Change chooses to selects

• Change them to those important decisions

Tags

CCSS.L.3.1A

CCSS.L.6.1A

CCSS.L.6.1C

CCSS.L.6.1D

Damian needs a stronger closing for his paper. Which sentences should he add after sentence 28 to bring his paper to a more effective conclusion?

(27) So when you turn 18, take the time to become a registered voter. (28) Then pay attention to election candidates and issues.

• You must be the one who changes this. It isn’t fair to make others think they have all the rights.

• Don’t be lazy. Get off the couch and do something that matters.

• When Election Day comes, go to the polls and cast your vote. It’s not only your right but also your responsibility.

• You’ll feel better if you persuade people to vote. You can help make your community more vibrant.

Tags

CCSS.RI.11-12.5

CCSS.RI.9-10.5

CCSS.RI.11-12.3

CCSS.RI.8.3

CCSS.RI.9-10.3

What is a correspondence?

• A letter or email

• A conversation

• A phone call with a friend

Tags

CCSS.L.2.1F

CCSS.L.1.1J

CCSS.L.8.1C

CCSS.L.K.1D

Select all of the elements of a persuasive correspondence essay:

• A greeting:

  Dear ____,

• Introduction, 2 body paragraphs, a conclusion.

• Text Evidence

• A closing:

  Sincerely,

  ______

If you're writing a letter to a principal, teacher, government official, or someone with authority, the tone of your letter should be :

• Informal

• Formal

Tags

CCSS.RL.11-12.4

CCSS.RL.6.4

CCSS.RL.7.4

CCSS.RL.8.4

CCSS.RL.9-10.4