Revising/editing practice

Sadah would like to replace sentence 4 with a sentence that helps create a more effective opening for her story. Which of the following can replace sentence 4 and improve this paper’s opening?

• But Daniel didn’t know that the ants in this park were fire ants.

• But his family had had picnics at many different parks in their old city.

• But Daniel and his parents had seen a lot of ants at other picnics too.

• But when ants came around, Daniel’s mom knew just what to do.

Which sentence could best follow and support sentence 10?

• He knew just what he needed to do, fast!

• It looked like a volcano of tiny, angry insects!

• He shrieked sometimes when he was surprised.

• They burst right out of the top of a little hill.

Sadah wants to begin her last paragraph (sentences 23–29) in a more effective way. Which sentence below can replace sentence 23 and improve the focus of this part of the story?

• Sadly, the other boys and girls in the park might get stung, too.

• Sadly, Daniel’s fire ant attack was finally over for good.

• Sadly, the party was going to be over soon for everyone there.

• Sadly, that was the end of the fun for Daniel and his family.

What is the most effective revision to make in sentence 25?

• Daniel’s mom consulted the Internet she decided that the bites would not need to be treated by a doctor.

• Daniel’s mom consulted the Internet, where the bites she decided would not need to be treated by a doctor.

• Daniel’s mom consulted the Internet and decided that the bites would not need to be treated by a doctor.

• No revision should be made in this sentence.

How does the author show that Daniel learned his lesson from his experience? Write your response in 2-3 sentences and provide evidence from the text!

What is the correct way to write sentence 3?

• Some people search inside a twisting model of the human brain. Because others walk past rows of wooden towers that stand like soldiers in a field.

• Some people searching inside a twisting model of the human brain. Others walk past rows of wooden towers that stand like soldiers in a field.

• Some people search inside a twisting model of the human brain, and others walk past. Rows of wooden towers that stand like soldiers in a field.

• Some people search inside a twisting model of the human brain. Others walk past rows of wooden towers that stand like soldiers in a field.

Tags

CCSS.L.4.2C

CCSS.L.2.1F

CCSS.L.3.1H

CCSS.L.3.1I

CCSS.L.5.1E

What change, if any, should be made in sentence 6?

• Change are found to is found

• Change Russias to Russia's

• Change famous to famus

• No change should be made in sentence 6.

Tags

CCSS.L.1.1B

CCSS.L.2.2C

CCSS.L.3.2D

What change is needed in sentence 8?

• Change idea to ideas

• Change had begun to had began

• Change earlyer to earlier

• No change is needed in sentence 8.

Tags

CCSS.L.3.1E

CCSS.L.4.1B

CCSS.L.5.1.B-D

CCSS.L.5.1B

CCSS.L.5.1C

How does sentence 13 need to be changed?

• Insert quotation marks at the beginning of the sentence

• Change beautiful to beautifull

• Delete the comma after place

• Sentence 13 does not need to be changed.

Tags

CCSS.L.3.2C

CCSS.L.4.2B

CCSS.L.5.2D

What is the correct way to write sentence 21?

• He wanted to bring other Russian artists to the area to create works of art.

• He wanted to bring other Russian artists to the area. To create works of art.

• He wanted to bring other Russian artists to the area they could create works of art.

• No change needs to be made in sentence 21.

Tags

CCSS.L.8.1A