ELA I EOC Revising

2 How can Susan improve the clarity of the following sentence?

Perhaps these teens are discovering what they have been suggesting for a while: spending time with others in real life is important.

• Change these teens to they

• Change they to researchers

• H Change suggesting to saying

• Change a while to some time

What is the most effective way to combine the following sentences?

But online networking promotes short, superficial connections. It is very popular with teens today

• But online networking, which is very popular with teens today, promotes short, superficial connections.

• But online networking promotes short, superficial connections, it is very popular with teens today.

• But online networking that promotes short, superficial connections, it is very popular with teens today.

• But online networking promotes short, superficial connections with teens today, which it is very popular.

What is the most effective revision to make in the following sentence?

Everyone communicates in person differently than communicating over the phone, through texting, or in online posts.

• Everyone communicates in person in one way, they communicate in different ways over the phone, through texting, or in online posts.

• Everyone communicates differently in person than they do when speaking over the phone, sending texts, or writing online posts.

• Everyone communicates in person differently than they do over the phone, to send texts, or posting online.

• Everyone communicates in person, over the phone, through texting, or in online posts differently.

What transition would be the most appropriate to use at the beginning of sentence 6?

(5) This colorful reef and its many inhabitants create a spectacular sight. (6) The reef attracts millions of tourists every year

• As a matter of concern,

• For further evidence,

• To wipe away any doubt,

• For this reason among others,

Candice may have a redundant sentence in the paragraph provided below (sentences 22–26). Which sentence, if any, should be deleted?

(22) The water surrounding the reef is teeming with life as well. (23) Many animals, such as marine insects and about 500 species of worms, swim in areas near the reef. (24) Microscopic plankton float freely and help feed many of the aquatic animals. (25) Larger animals living near the reef include jellyfish, octopuses, and saltwater crocodiles as well as over 1,600 species of fish, over 20 species of seabirds, and about 30 species of marine mammals, including dolphins and whales. (26) Animals large and small live close to the reef.

• Sentence 24

• Sentence 25

• Sentence 26

• No sentence should be deleted.

6 Melody’s opening sentence is unclear or vague. What change should she make in the following sentence to clarify her introductory paragraph?

They are continually telling us that we should become more involved in the community by volunteering our time.

• Change They to Teachers and leaders at our school

• Change continually to always

• Change telling us to instructing us

• Change community to surrounding neighborhood

6 Melody’s opening sentence is unclear or vague. What change should she make in the following sentence to clarify her introductory paragraph?

They are continually telling us that we should become more involved in the community by volunteering our time.

• Change They to Teachers and leaders at our school

• Change continually to always

• Change telling us to instructing us

• Change community to surrounding neighborhood

What is the most effective way to combine the following sentences?

My own sister attends one of the elementary schools that feeds into our high school. She is having a hard time in math.

• My own sister is having a hard time in math attending one of the elementary schools that feeds into our high school.

• My own sister attends one of the elementary schools that feeds into our high school although she is having a hard time in math.

• My own sister, who attends one of the elementary schools that feeds into our high school, is having a hard time in math.

• My own sister attends one of the elementary schools that feeds into our high school, she is having a hard time in math.

What is the most effective way to combine sentences 10 and 11? FG H J

• Because they are so large, the mammoths likely would have struggled to climb out of the ravine in time, and to survive the sudden flooding.

• Because they are so large, the mammoths likely would have struggled to climb out of the ravine in time to survive the sudden flooding.

• Because they are so large, the mammoths likely would have struggled to climb out of the ravine in time, surviving the sudden flooding.

• Because they are so large, the mammoths likely would have struggled climbing out of the ravine in time surviving the sudden flooding.

Which sentence in the third paragraph (sentences 7–12) is extraneous and should be deleted from the essay?

(7) Over the years as scientists studied the mammoths, they uncovered more information that altered their initial theories. (8) This happens often due to new discoveries or additional data that lead to new theories. (9) One initial theory was that the mammoth herd was trapped in a ravine and drowned in a flash flood. (10) Because they are so large, the mammoths likely would have struggled to climb out of the ravine in time. (11) That would GO ON English I - REVISING Page 5 Form 001 have made it hard to survive the sudden flooding. (12) However, as the scientists studied the fossils over several years, researchers discovered that the growth patterns on the bones appeared stunted, as though the animals did not have sufficient nutrition.

• Sentence 7

• Sentence 8

• Sentence 9

• Sentence 12