Revising and Editing

What change needs to be made in sentence 4?

• Change there is to theirs

• Change called to it is called

• Change Toastmasters international to Toastmasters International

• Change helps to help

Tags

CCSS.RI.3.5

CCSS.RL.4.1

CCSS.RL.5.1

CCSS.RL.9-10.9

People who belong to public speaking clubs overcome their nerves and bad habits. By standing up to give speeches in warm, supportive environments.

• People who belong to public speaking clubs overcoming their nerves and bad habits by standing up and giving speeches in warm, supportive environments.

• People who belong to public speaking clubs overcome their nerves and bad habits by standing up and giving speeches in warm, supportive environments.

• People who belong to public speaking clubs overcome their nerves and bad habits by standing up and giving speeches. In warm, supportive environments.

Tags

CCSS.L.4.1F

How should Arya revise sentence 5 to avoid repeating ideas?

• As the family prepared to leave for their trip one early morning, contrasting sharply with her apprehensiveness were the necessary things they did to get ready and Becca’s parents’ bubbly enthusiasm.

• As the family prepared to leave for their trip one early morning, Becca’s parents’ bubbly enthusiasm contrasted sharply with her apprehensiveness.

• As the family prepared to leave for their trip one early morning, they did the necessary things to get ready that contrasted sharply with Becca’s parents’ bubbly enthusiasm and her apprehensiveness.

• As the family prepared and got ready to leave for their trip one early morning, Becca’s apprehensiveness and her parents’ bubbly enthusiasm contrasted.

What revision, if any, is needed in sentence 7?

• Becca had always loved animals because one silly encounter, being with a rabbit in the backyard, had made an enormous impression on her family.

• Becca had always loved animals and with a rabbit in the backyard, one silly encounter had made an enormous impression on her family.

• Becca had always loved animals, but one silly encounter had made an enormous impression on her family with a rabbit in the backyard.

• No change is needed.

Tags

CCSS.L.4.1B

CCSS.L.5.1.B-D

CCSS.L.5.1C

CCSS.L.5.1D

CCSS.L.5.1B

What is the most effective way to combine sentences 17 and 18?

• After climbing reluctantly into the back seat, she rested her head against a pillow and promptly fell into a deep slumber.

• She climbed reluctantly into the back seat, and she rested her head against a pillow, and she promptly fell into a deep slumber.

• As she climbed reluctantly into the back seat, she rested her head against a pillow that promptly fell into a deep slumber.

• She climbed reluctantly into the back seat, she rested her head against a pillow and promptly fell into a deep slumber.

Tags

CCSS.L.4.1B

CCSS.L.5.1.B-D

CCSS.L.5.1C

CCSS.L.5.1D

CCSS.L.3.1D