CFA review: W.7.3d, W.8.3d

Read this paragraph.

"How much longer until we reach shore?"  I wondered as I gazed across the endless expanse of glistening turquoise water.  __________ I inched my way to the front of the boat and grasped the metal railing.  With the cool breeze and salty mist on my face, I instantly began to feel better.

Which sentence could complete the paragraph by adding vivid details or sensory language?

• I started to feel as if I was coming down with something, and I wanted to get off the boat.

• Being on the boat tour was like riding a runaway roller coaster, and I soon felt queasy and clammy all over.

• I did not feel well as the boat traveled over the water.

• The boat ride made me feel ill.

Joe is writing a narrative paragraph for his school literary magazine.  He is writing about a character that is learning to perform on a flying trapeze.  Read the draft of the narrative and complete the task that follows.
      Janet held her breath as she watched the student in front of her grab the bar and swing out into the open air on the flying trapeze.  Janet, who had always loved the circus and especially the trapeze artists, had decided months ago to finally take this class to learn the flying trapeze.  As the instructor looked up and gave Janet the "go" signal, she slowly and carefully reached out and grabbed the trapeze bar with her right hand and then her left.  She silently counted to three and then jumped from the platform.  As she flew through the air, she had an awesome feeling.  She loved it.

Joe would like to revise the narrative to include more descriptive sensory language. Select the TWO best phrases to replace the phrase "she had an awesome feeling" in the paragraph.

• 
  the trapeze slipped out of her tight grasp and she dropped into the safety net below

• her heart became a drum, pounding with happiness

• she felt like a bird taking flight

• the wind hit her

Which sentences use sensory language to describe the brightness and hotness of the sun?  Select all that apply.

• Somehow the sun seemed hotter and brighter that day than ever before.

• From its position in the sky, the bright sun warmed everything on the ground below.

• The piercing rays of the summer sun fried the grass to a crisp golden brown.

• The blinding sun was a roaring campfire, and I was the marshmallow being toasted by its flames.

• The brilliant fireball in the sky had boiled my blood and turned my skin the color of a cooked lobster.

Parker is writing a narrative paragraph for an assignment in his English class about a character running for office.  Read the draft of the narrative and complete the task that follows.

Ricardo put his heart and soul into his campaign to become vice president of the student council.  His posters were the most creative and by far the most memorable.  He worked on his speech for days, constantly making changes to it to make it as perfect as he could get it.  At the school's fall festival, Ricardo set up a booth to promote his campaign.  He gave away buttons, pencils, and candies that bore his campaign slogan, "Vote for Ricardo—the VP you need."  On the day of the election, he waited for the results; he was so nervous.

Parker would like to revise the narrative to include more description of how Ricardo is feeling.  Select the two best phrases to replace the underlined phrase in the paragraph.

• he felt anxious about the election

• he had trouble keeping his mind on his schoolwork and off the election

• he thought a lot about the election for the rest of the day

• his heart beat wildly, his palms were sweaty, and he could hardly sit still

• he had a very strong feeling that he was going to win

What is "sensory language"?

• language that connects to the five senses (sight, sound, smell, taste, touch) to create an image or description.

• language that has been banned by your parents and teachers

• language that is not very descriptive

• language that is unfamiliar to the reader

Tags

CCSS.L.2.1E

CCSS.L.2.4A

CCSS.L.2.6

CCSS.W.2.3

A student is writing a narrative for class about his summer at tennis camp.  The student wants to revise the draft to improve the development of ideas.  Choose one place within the paragraph where more description is needed to better describe the setting.

This past summer I discovered that I am one tough, resilient athlete.  I endured six weeks of tennis camp in Tucson, Arizona, a city notorious for its record–setting temperatures.  It was so hot.  While it would have been nice if there were shades over the tennis courts, sadly there were none.  The sun beat down on me all day long never caring how many drills I had done or how many matches I had played — it just never let up.  I depended on my hat and sunglasses to shield my head from the blinding sun even though the rest of me felt vulnerable.  By drinking water constantly, I stayed sufficiently hydrated.  I sweated profusely nearly every minute of the day.  There were times I felt so overheated that I had to take refuge under a shady tree.  I must say, however, that all that practice made me a better tennis player.  Plus, that intense, unrelenting heat made me realize that I have what it takes to be a star athlete: resilience and endurance.

• The sun beat down on me all day long never caring how many drills I had done or how many matches I had played...

• This past summer I discovered that I am one tough, resilient athlete.

• It was so hot.

• I sweated profusely nearly every minute of the day.

Read this paragraph.

Renee ascended the creaky steps into the attic.  A small dirty window at the far end offered little in the way of light.  Renee fumbled for the thin chain overhead and gave it a tug.  After allowing her eyes to adjust to the dim glow of a single bulb, Renee proceeded to look for the old trunk.  Dust and other stuff covered just about everything.

Which sentence(s) could replace the final sentence to make the description more vivid and precise? Select all that apply.

• 
  Dust, dust, and more dust had settled all over every surface and made it difficult to tell one thing from another.

• There was dust on all the things stored in the attic.

• A thick layer of dust and delicate spider webs blanketed a jumbled mix of boxes, old furniture, and antique toys.

• Dust formed a gray carpet on top of the floorboards while cobwebs hung like birthday streamers from ancient wooden beams.

A student is writing a narrative for his class about a recent challenge.  The student wants to revise the draft to improve its organization.  Read the draft and complete the task that follows.

In spite of all the resistance I encountered, joining the school running club last semester was one of the best things I could have done for myself.  My parents discouraged me from participating because they thought I already had more than enough to consume my time.  They warned, "You have academics to focus on in school and chores to focus on at home.  You do not have time to run around."  My teachers discouraged me because they wanted to make sure I was committed to my schoolwork.  They said, "You have struggled with your school workload in the past."  However, a faint voice inside my head said, "You need to get some exercise and fresh air to help clear your mind and ease your stress."  Indeed, all of the days that I participated in the running club were days I felt less stressed and more enthusiastic about school.  Without even feeling overwhelmed, I managed to get straight A's that entire semester.

Choose the sentence that would be the most effective ending for the narrative.

• Most adults do not understand what children actually need.

• 
  It turns out that exercise and fresh air was exactly what I needed.

• Everyone should incorporate running into their lives.

• I realized that my parents do not give me the support I need.

A student is writing a narrative for her class.  The student wants to revise the draft to improve the development of ideas.  Read the draft of the narrative and complete the task that follows.

Samantha and her family traveled through Norway for their summer vacation.  They took a long hike through the forest to reach a beautiful lake they heard about.  On the way there, Samantha's father told the family a tale about the local people believing in mystical beings like trolls and elves.  Samantha laughed the story off because there was no way there were actual elves in the forest.  As the forest got thicker and the trail got smaller, Samantha's family began to hear faint giggles coming from the bushes.  Could it really be true that they were hearing the sounds of the enchanted elves?

The narrative is missing a conclusion.  Choose two sentences that would best finish the narrative by providing closure.

• 
  Samantha thought she saw a small shadow jump behind a tree up ahead of them.

• 
  Samantha stopped on the trail and grabbed her camera to take a photo.

• Samantha and her family turned back because they were too tired from hiking.

• 
  Samantha put on her headphones, and the noise did not bother her any longer.

• She smiled and started to believe in the mystical legends told by the locals.

A student has written a story and wants to add an effective conclusion. Read the final paragraph of the story and answer the question that follows.

Madison watched her mother working outside in the garden. She knew how important it was to her mother to get all the seeds in the ground before the big rains, but she hated getting dirty and she hated bugs. Madison’s mother wiped her brow and waved expectantly at her daughter to join her in the backyard. Madison smiled hesitantly and waved back.

Which sentence provides the best ending to the story?

• She rolled up her sleeves, opened up the kitchen door, and walked over to the garden to help her mom.

• Madison asked her mom how many rows of seeds needed to be planted and if they could wait until tomorrow.

• Her mother picked up the seed packets, laid them on the rows on the ground, and started digging.

• The garden work looked hard and Madison stood at the kitchen window unsure of what to do.