STAAR Revising/Editing

What transition would be the most appropriate to use at the beginning of sentence 6?

• A As a matter of concern

• B For further evidence

• C To wipe away any doubt

• D For this reason among others

Candice needs a more effective thesis statement for her paper. Which sentence should replace sentence 8 to serve as the thesis statement?

• F There are other barrier reefs in the oceans of the world, but only the Great Barrier Reef is so well known.

• G The Great Barrier Reef of Australia is a supreme example of the mysteries of the natural world because of its wide variety of plant and animal life.

• H Some scientists believe the Great Barrier Reef first began to grow about 18 million years ago.

• J A coral reef like the Great Barrier Reef can grow only in shallow, warm water because it needs light from the sun to survive.

Candice needs a topic sentence for the third paragraph (sentences 19–21). Which of the following sentences should be inserted before sentence 19 to introduce the ideas in this paragraph?

• A. Over time a vast array of creatures has come to inhabit the Great Barrier Reef.

• B Marine animal species that are threatened are protected by the Great Barrier Reef Marine Park Authority.

• C The biodiversity of the Great Barrier Reef ensures its long-term existence.

• D The waters along the Great Barrier Reef provide a habitat for marine animals that researchers study.

Candice may have a redundant sentence in the fourth paragraph (sentences 22–26). Which sentence, if any, should be deleted?

• F Sentence 24

• G Sentence 25

• H Sentence 26

• J No sentence should be deleted.

Candice would like to improve her concluding sentence by summing up the ideas she has presented. Which sentence should she use to replace sentence 35?

• A Finally, we must protect the Great Barrier Reef from being destroyed so future generations can enjoy it.

• B How much still remains to be discovered about the Great Barrier Reef of Australia is anybody’s guess.

• C Researchers should explore the oceans further to try to find other natural wonders like the Great Barrier Reef.

• D Attracting visitors from around the world, the Great Barrier Reef has a beauty that is perhaps unequaled anywhere on Earth.

6 Melody’s opening sentence is unclear. What change should she make in sentence 1 to clarify her introductory paragraph?

• F Change They to Teachers and leaders at our school

• G Change continually to always

• H Change telling us to instructing us

• J Change community to surrounding neighborhood

7 What is the most effective way to combine sentences 6 and 7?

• A My own sister is having a hard time in math attending one of the elementary schools that feeds into our high school.

• B My own sister attends one of the elementary schools that feeds into our high school although she is having a hard time in math.

• C My own sister, who attends one of the elementary schools that feeds into our high school, is having a hard time in math.

• D My own sister attends one of the elementary schools that feeds into our high school, she is having a hard time in math.

8 Melody needs a better transition into the third paragraph (sentences 12–17) of her essay. Which of the following could she add before sentence 12 to improve this transition?

• F In researching mentoring programs, I learned of several promising results.

• G As I think about a mentoring program, I have many ideas on how it should work.

• H If struggling youngsters get the help they need, it could benefit teachers, too.

• J Because I believe in the mentoring concept, I’d like to see it at our school.

9 Melody would like to add the following counterargument to her essay.

Some students may say that they don’t have enough time to participate in a mentoring program because of other activities in which they are involved.

Where is the best place for her to insert this sentence?

• A Before sentence 5

• B Before sentence 10

• C Before sentence 13

• D Before sentence 21

10 What change, if any, needs to be made in sentence 4?

• F Change benefitial to beneficial

• G Insert a comma after people

• H Change healthier to healthiest

• J No change is needed in sentence 4.