Revising

What is the MOST effective way for Rose to combine sentences 3 & 4?

(3) Playing a team sport is one way to get this exercise.

(4) Not every kid wants to join a team.

• Playing a team sport is one way to get this exercise, so not every kid wants to join a team.

• Playing a team sport is one way to get this exercise, but not every kid wants to join a team.

• Not every kid wants to join a team, also playing a team sport is one way to get this exercise.

• Because playing a team sport is one way to get this exercise, not every kid wants to join a team.

Sentence 8 lacks clarity. What is the MOST effective change Rose can make to improve the clarity of this sentence?

(8) When my parents, at age seven, insisted I get off the couch and “do something,” I began taking karate.

• I began taking karate at age seven when my parents insisted I get off the couch and “do something.”

• I began taking karate, when my parents at age seven insisted I get off the couch and “do something.”

• My parents insisted I get off the couch and “do something” when I began taking karate at age seven.

• When I began taking karate, my parents insisted I get off the couch and “do something” at age seven.

Which of the following sentences should replace sentence 13 to serve as a more effective topic sentence of this paragraph?

(13) Taking a martial arts class is not just good for improving physical fitness.

• As if the physical benefits weren’t enough, participating in martial arts also helps kids develop strong mental focus.

• In martial arts class, the instruction goes beyond learning how to perform physical moves more effectively.

• Many people are surprised by the variety of benefits that they receive from taking a martial arts class.

• Taking a martial arts class will certainly help someone get in better shape physically, but that’s not the only benefit.

Which word would be a more precise word to use than really in sentence 21?

(21) By really pushing themselves to improve, people learn to conquer self-doubt.

• actually

• quickly

• honestly

• constantly

Which Sentence In The Fifth Paragraph (sentences 24–28) is extraneous and should be deleted?

(24) Studying martial arts has social benefits too. (25) Instructors stress the importance of respecting others, and respect is the basis for any successful relationship. (26) Also, martial-arts classes are often filled with students of all ages and backgrounds. (27) I think martial arts is the best sport because many people can practice it together. (28) Participants will have a chance to develop new friendships while learning new skills in a supportive environment.

• Sentence 25

• Sentence 26

• Sentence 27

• Sentence 28

Which sentence should Rose add after sentence 31 to improve the conclusion of her letter?

(29) Learning to master martial arts takes effort and dedication, but the benefits are countless. (30) Improved physical fitness, mental focus, self-discipline, and social skills are just a few of the many benefits the martial arts have to offer.

(31) And, you can practice on your own time, at your own pace, in the comfort of your home.

Sincerely, Rose

• Why do you think these classes are so popular?

• Are there any other benefits you want to know about?

• Do you see why it’s better for you than using a computer?

• Why not put down your phone, try a class, and see for yourself?