Revising Practice

What is the most effective revision to make in sentence 10?

• People die twice: once when they take their last breath and again when their name is spoken for the last time, an old proverb says.

• An old proverb says that people die twice and once is when they take their last breath and the second time people die is when their name is spoken for the last time.

• An old proverb says that people die twice and when their name is spoken for the last time is the second time they die and the first time is when they take their last breath.

• Sentence 10 is written correctly in the paper.

Rebecca has left an important detail out of the third paragraph (sentences 10 – 14). Karen is the executive director of Wreaths Across America. Where is the BEST place to insert this sentence?

• A   Before sentence 11

• B   After sentence 11

• C   After sentence 12

• D   After sentence 14

Rebecca has included an extraneous sentence in the fifth paragraph (sentences 19 – 23). Which sentence should be deleted from this paragraph?

• F   Sentence 20

• G   Sentence 21

• H   Sentence 22

• J    Sentence 23

Rebecca would like to revise sentence 25 so that it provides a more effective closing for the fifth paragraph (sentences 19 -25). Which of the following could replace sentence 25 and BEST accomplish this goal?

• It makes us feel closer to our departed ancestors and makes us feel proud of the sacrifices they made in defense of our nation.

• The wreaths are laid after the ceremony takes place.

• The traffic is always backed up because so many people want to attend the event.

• We always go on the third Saturday of December.

Kelly wants to add a more effective transition between the second paragraph (sentences 4–11) and the third paragraph (sentences 12–14). Which of the following sentences should be added before sentence 12 to help readers effectively transition from the second to the third paragraph?

• Using the snooze button can have a negative impact on a person’s health.

• Perhaps more serious, though, is how this sleepiness can affect a person’s mood.

• Sleepiness also may occur if the body’s circadian rhythm, or internal body clock, is disrupted.

• Interfering with the natural circadian rhythms is equally distracting.

Anika has not used the most effective transition in sentence 8. Which of the following should replace After all in this sentence?

• Soon

• Instead

• Finally

• Otherwise

How should sentence 20 be revised?

• To enhance their surroundings, installing fake windows and decorative drapes helped some people.

• To enhance their surroundings, some people install fake windows and they also use decorative drapes.

• To enhance their surroundings, fake windows with decorative drapes are installed by some people to help them.

• To enhance their surroundings, some people install fake windows with decorative drapes.

The championship games continued ___________ the bad weather.

• therefore

• although

• by

• despite (without being affected by)

What is the most effective revision to make in sentence 5?

• A) The cat sat on the mat, and it was very comfortable.

• B) The cat sat on the mat, it was very comfortable.

• C) The cat sat on the mat; it was very comfortable.

• D) Sentence 5 is written correctly in the paper.

Where is the BEST place to insert the sentence 'The sun was setting, casting a golden glow over the city' in the second paragraph?

• A) Before sentence 3

• B) After sentence 3

• C) After sentence 4

• D) After sentence 5