STAAR English Revision

Sentence 2 needs to be revised. In the box provided, rewrite sentence 2 in a clear and effective way.

Which sentences can replace sentences 4 and 5 to create a more effective controlling idea for this paper?

• However, one swimmer, Sarah Thomas, has managed to go above and beyond all the rest. She set a new record by swimming the English Channel four times without stopping.

• But Sarah Thomas is a swimmer who yearned to do more. She has faced some challenging circumstances in her life and felt confident she was ready to tackle the English Channel.

• As a result, Sarah Thomas was able to accomplish something no swimmer had ever accomplished. She swam across the English Channel and set an impressive record.

• Yet Sarah Thomas was able to complete a swim that was an incredible feat. She made it across the English Channel with the help of a small team and was proud of her accomplishment.

Heike wants to add this sentence to the third paragraph of her paper (sentences 10–14). Where is the best place to insert this sentence?

• After sentence 10

• After sentence 11

• After sentence 12

• After sentence 13

Sentence 18 contains an indefinite reference that affects the clarity of the sentence. What is the best way to revise sentence 18?

• Change She to They

• Change but to and

• Change they to crew members

• Change her to another teammate

What is the MOST effective revision to make in sentence 23?

• In a panic I ransacked our recycle bin, pulling out brown cardboard boxes, paper towel tubes, and paper scraps that I hastily glued together.

• In a panic I ransacked our recycle bin, pulling out brown cardboard boxes, paper towel tubes, and there were paper scraps that I hastily and quickly glued together.

• In a panic I ransacked our recycle bin, hastily and quickly gluing together what I pulled out, which was brown cardboard boxes, paper towel tubes, and paper scraps.

• In a panic I ransacked our recycle bin, pulling out and removing brown cardboard boxes, paper towel tubes, and paper scraps for hastily gluing together.

Which sentence in the fifth paragraph (sentences 20–24) contains unnecessary information and should be removed?

• Sentence 20

• Sentence 21

• Sentence 22

• Sentence 23

What change needs to be made in sentence 2?

• Change It to They

• Delete the comma after space

• Change had to has

• Change approximatly to approximately

What change needs to be made in sentence 4?

• Delete the comma after towers

• Change call to called

• Change is to are

• Change practical to practacal

What change needs to be made in sentence 10?

• Change documentary to documentery

• Insert a comma after Towers

• Change that to who

• Change Austin’s to Austins’

What change should be made in sentence 12?

• Change But to While

• Change is to was

• Change Zilker Park holiday tree to Zilker Park Holiday Tree

• Change its to it’s