Revision and Editing STAAR

Joe did not maintain a consistent point of view in the first paragraph of this paper. What revision should he make in sentence 5 to correct this problem?

• Change she arrived to the dog arrived

• Change you to humans

• Change no one to they

• Change he would become to it would become

What is the BEST way to revise sentence 15?

• The animals at the sanctuary were comforted when Jasmine’s loving presence and gentle care comforted them.

• The animals at the sanctuary were comforted by Jasmine’s loving presence and gentle care.

• The animals at the sanctuary were comforted by Jasmine, who had her loving presence and her gentle care.

• The animals at the sanctuary were comforted by Jasmine, her loving presence, and her gentle care.

Sentence 6 is unclear because Kayla has chosen an inappropriate word. What change should Kayla make to improve this sentence?

• Change Certainly to Surely

• Change most to many

• Change agree to think

• Change profits to benefits

What is the BEST way to revise sentence 26?

• I believe that a day without technology is a day that will be helping make you a healthier and better person and friend.

• I believe that a day without technology will help make you a healthier person and a better friend.

• I believe that a day without technology, it will help make you a healthier person, and it will help make you a better friend.

• I believe that a day without technology is good, it will help make you a healthier person, who will be a better friend.

What is the most effective revision to make in sentence 6?

• Her name, which means “little girl” in a native Australian language, was first given to her father’s favorite crocodile.

• Since her name was first given to her father’s favorite crocodile, it means “little girl” in a native Australian language.

• Her name was first given to her father’s favorite crocodile, it means “little girl” in a native Australian language.

• First given to her father’s favorite crocodile, in a native Australian language, her name means “little girl.”

What is the BEST way to combine sentences 12 and 13?

• There she helped care for several animals and a giant Galápagos land tortoise.

• There she helped care for several animals, Harriet, a giant Galápagos land tortoise.

• There she helped care for several animals, including Harriet, a giant Galápagos land tortoise.

• There she helped care for several animals, although one was Harriet, a giant Galápagos land tortoise.

What change, if any, should be made in sentence 3?

• Change than to then

• Change mothers’ to mother’s

• Change groan to grown

• No change should be made in this sentence.

What change needs to be made in sentence 9?

• Change began to begins

• Change the comma after casseroles to a period

• Delete the comma after asking

• Change didn’t to Didn’t

What change, if any, needs to be made in sentence 10?

• Insert a comma after down

• Change and to she

• Change starred to stared

• No change needs to be made.

What change, if any, needs to be made in sentence 13?

• Insert quotation marks at the beginning of the sentence

• Change grocery store to Grocery Store

• Change your to you’re

• Sentence 13 does not need to be changed.