Sentence Revision and Analysis

Use Anna Pavlova to answer the following question:

Saleem would like to provide a more effective closing in the first paragraph (sentences 1–4). Which sentence should replace sentence 4 to accomplish this goal?

• Ballet dancers should try to copy Anna Pavlova’s unique style of dancing.

• Not many people understand ballet, but more people should experience it.

• People should mention Anna Pavlova when they discuss the greatest ballerinas.

• Its fame allowed her to become the first ballerina to tour with her own company.

Use Anna Pavlova to answer the following question:

What is the MOST effective way to revise sentence 9?

• At just ten years old, Pavlova performed in a ballet for the first time, but even then she did not look like other ballerinas.

• She did not look like just ten years old, but even then Pavlova performed with other ballerinas but in a ballet for the first time.

• For the first time, at just ten years old, Pavlova did not look like other ballerinas in a ballet performed for the first time.

• At just ten years old, Pavlova performed in a ballet but even then she did not look like other ballerinas for the first time.

Use Anna Pavlova to answer the following question:

Saleem wants to add another detail to help support the ideas in the third paragraph (sentences 9–16). Which sentence should replace sentence 16 to accomplish this goal?

• These famous teachers expanded her skills, particularly Cecchetti, whose techniques are still used today.

• She was known as “The Broom” because she looked like a tall pole or a wild thing sweeping the floor.

• During one performance, Pavlova was so energetic that she leaped off the stage.

• In a ballet performance, a solo dance is known as a variation or a pas seul, which is French for “not alone.”

Use Anna Pavlova to answer the following question:

Which sentence in the fifth paragraph (sentences 21–29) is extraneous and should be deleted?

• Sentence 24

• Sentence 25

• Sentence 26

• Sentence 27

Use Anna Pavlova to answer the following question:

Saleem wants to combine the ideas in sentences 32 and 33. In the space provided, write a new sentence that combines these ideas in a clear and effective way.

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Use Beatrice's Report to answer the following question:

What is the correct way to write sentence 3?

• The next oldest recipe was actually part of a hymn to Ninkasi, a Sumerian goddess from the 14th century BC, it was pressed into clay tablets and described a beverage called liquid bread.

• Pressed into clay tablets describing liquid bread, a beverage, the next oldest recipe was from the 14th century BC, it was actually part of a hymn to Ninkasi, a Sumerian goddess.

• From the 14th century BC, the next oldest recipe was actually part of a hymn; to Ninkasi, a Sumerian goddess, pressed into clay tablets describing a beverage called liquid bread.

• The next oldest recipe, from the 14th century BC, was actually part of a hymn to Ninkasi, a Sumerian goddess. The recipe was pressed into clay tablets and described a beverage called liquid bread.

Use Beatrice's Report to answer the following question:

What change should be made in sentence 5?

• Change Our to His

• Change contained to containing

• Insert a comma after featured

• Change exotic to exotick

Use Beatrice's Report to answer the following question:

What change should be made in sentence 7?

• Change chefs to chef’s

• Delete the comma after court

• Change wrote to write

• Change whales to wales

Use Beatrice's Report to answer the following question:

What change should be made in sentence 8?

• Change earliest to earlier

• Change Europe to europe

• Change the semicolon to a colon

• Change you’re to your

Use Hector's Report to answer the following question:

What is the correct way to write sentence 4?

• In 2014, officials at Katmai National Park and Preserve in Alaska started taking before-and-after photos. These show how the different bears’ bodies changed.

• Before and after 2014, officials at Katmai National Park and Preserve in Alaska started taking photos. Show how the different bears’ bodies changed.

• Officials at Katmai National Park and Preserve in Alaska showed how the different bears’ bodies changed. These photos started taking in 2014, before and after.

• In 2014, officials at Katmai National Park and Preserve in Alaska started taking before-and-after photos, these show how the different bears’ bodies changed.