Honors STAAR Revising and Editing

(3) But online networking promotes short, superficial connections. (4) It is very popular with teens today.

What is the most effective way to combine sentences 3 and 4?

• But online networking, which is very popular with teens today, promotes short, superficial connections.

• But online networking promotes short, superficial connections, it is very popular with teens today.

• But online networking that promotes short, superficial connections, it is very popular with teens today.

• But online networking promotes short, superficial connections with teens today, which it is very popular.

(9) A survey of almost 7,000 teens was conducted in 2014 by three Swiss researchers, and they found that many of the surveyed teens believed they were spending too much time on these social networking sites. (10) These teens are starting to realize that online connections can be anonymous, emotionless, and insignificant. (11) Additionally, these teens admitted that they miss spending time with real people. 12) Perhaps these teens are discovering what they have been suggesting for a while: spending time with others in real life is important.

How can Susan improve the clarity of sentence 12?

• Change these teens to they

• Change they to researchers

• Change suggesting to saying

• Change a while to some time

(16) Everyone communicates in person differently than communicating over the phone, through texting, or in online posts.

What is the most effective revision to make in sentence 16?

• Everyone communicates in person in one way, they communicate in different ways over the phone, through texting, or in online posts.

• Everyone communicates differently in person than they do when speaking over the phone, sending texts, or writing online posts.

• Everyone communicates in person differently than they do over the phone, to send texts, or posting online.

• Everyone communicates in person, over the phone, through texting, or in online posts differently.

(6) What caused these people to build an underground city in the Australian desert? (7) In 1915 14-year-old Willie Hutchison discovered some rich opal fields in the area. (8) After all, miners from all over the world flooded into the region to seek their fortunes.

Which transition should replace "After all" in sentence 8?

• Soon

• Instead

• Finally

• Otherwise

(20) To enhance their surroundings, fake windows with decorative drapes are installed by some people.

How should sentence 20 be revised?

• To enhance their surroundings, installing fake windows and decorative drapes helped some people.

• To enhance their surroundings, some people install fake windows and they also use decorative drapes.

• To enhance their surroundings, fake windows with decorative drapes are installed by some people to help them.

• To enhance their surroundings, some people install fake windows with decorative drapes.

(5) As students explore texts that were written hundreds of years before, you peer through a window into the world as it was in those days.

How should sentence 5 be changed?

• Change explore to explored

• Change were written to was written

• Change years to year’s

• Change you to they

(9) Being able to hear those voices from the past is a privilage young people should be grateful to have.

What change should be made in sentence 9?

• Insert a comma after past

• Change is to are

• Change privilage to privilege

• Change grateful to gratefull

(11) Most teens are absorbed with their own daily activities, they rarely think about the fact that human civilization has been around for a long time.

What is the correct way to write sentence 11?

• Most teens are absorbed with their own daily activities. Rarely thinking about the fact that human civilization has been around for a long time.

• Most teens are absorbed with their own daily activities and rarely think about human civilization. Which has been around for a long time.

• Most teens are absorbed with their own daily activities and rarely think about this fact, human civilization has been around for a long time.

• Most teens are absorbed with their own daily activities and rarely think about the fact that human civilization has been around for a long time.

(23) According to Philip Davis one of the English professors involved in the study, “Serious literature acts like a rocket-booster to the brain.”

How should sentence 23 be changed?

• Change According to Acording

• Insert a comma after Davis

• Change Serious to serious

• Sentence 23 should not be changed.

(6) With no instructions or guidence, Ortiz and his sister planned to take their new boats out onto the water

What change should be made in sentence 6?

• Change With to Without

• Change guidence to guidance

• Delete the comma

• Change planned to planning