Revising and Editing- The Fishing Trip

Lucas would like a more effective closing sentence for the third paragraph (sentences 6–9). Which sentence can BEST replace sentence 9 and help Lucas accomplish this goal?

• He pointed at Maya's hat and added, "I'm glad you remembered sunscreen."

• He glanced toward the window and said, "The sun's already bright, so we'd better head out soon."

• He looked at his watch and added, "I wonder if Grandpa will grill hamburgers tonight."

• He patted his pocket and said, "I hope I remembered to bring my wallet."

What revision, if any, should be made in sentence 16?

• Ducks glided across the water, and the siblings paddled across in a small rowboat the lake that Grandpa had tied at the dock.

• Ducks glided across the water, the siblings paddled out on the lake in a small rowboat, and Grandpa had tied it at the dock.

• Ducks glided across the water as the siblings paddled out in a small rowboat that Grandpa had tied at the dock.

• No change is needed.

What is the BEST revision to make in sentence 21?

• Then Maya pointed to a cooler, "We only packed one sandwich, that's not much lunch for two people."

• Then Maya pointed to a cooler-"Only one sandwich packed? Not much lunch for two people."

• Then Maya pointed to the cooler and said, "We only packed one sandwich? That's not much lunch for two people."

• Then Maya pointed to the cooler and said, "We only packed one sandwich, not much lunch for two people, that's all."

Lucas has not used the most effective transition at the beginning of sentence 27. Which phrase should replace Suddenly in this sentence?

• By the same token

• At that moment

• In this case

• In the long run

What is the MOST effective way to revise sentence 31?

• Within half an hour, Grandpa appeared in a neighbor's motorboat with more water and a park ranger.

• Grandpa appeared with more water and a park ranger within half an hour in a neighbor's motorboat.

• A neighbor's motorboat appeared within half an hour, and Grandpa was with more water and a park ranger.

• Within half an hour, more water, Grandpa, and a park ranger appeared in a neighbor's motorboat.

Lucas has not used an effective phrase in sentence 36. Which phrase should replace said in this sentence to better match the tone?

• bragged

• confessed

• demanded

• argued

Sentence 5 is written incorrectly. Select the response that corrects this sentence.

• After four years, the Golden Gate Bridge was finished. It immediately became a landmark recognized around the world.

• After four years, the Golden Gate Bridge was finished and it immediately became. A landmark recognized around the world.

• After four years the Golden Gate Bridge was finished, and immediately became a landmark recognized around the world.

• After four years, the Golden Gate Bridge was finished it immediately becoming a landmark recognized around the world.

What change is needed in sentence 8?

• Change persons to person's

• Change fit to fits

• Insert a comma after cables

• Change arm to Arms

What change is needed in sentence 10?

• Change accidently to accidentally

• Change beneath to beneth

• Change saving to save

• Insert a comma after construction

What change needs to be made in sentence 14?

• Change historys' to history's

• Change incredible to incredable

• Insert a comma after call

• Change achievements to achievement's