CLEAN : Mother of Paris attacks victim delighted Abdeslam was captured

The transcript discusses the emotional challenges of dealing with grief after losing a child, particularly in the context of a suspect's arrest related to terrorism. The speaker expresses mixed feelings about the arrest, hopes for cooperation with authorities, and the potential for gaining information to prevent future attacks. Despite these developments, the speaker conveys a deep sense of loss and the difficulty of finding meaning in life after such a tragedy.

What does the speaker express about the possibility of closure regarding their grief?

What does the speaker mean by saying they have to 'survive' rather than 'live'?