In which book is a character wearing a long brown wig, an enormous black hat and purple gloves?

In which book do characters have an amber beaded curtain between their living room and kitchen?

In which book is character's skin broke out thanks to raging hormones? 

In which book does a character explain that chess is a virtual simulation of war?

In which book does a character look down at her new sweater like she is actually covered in snail slime?

In which book does a character have a woman's name tattooed in fancy letters on his arm above a black rose with thorns?

In which book is digging in the yard strictly forbidden?

In which book is it fun to be amazing, to be the star of a show and have everyone watching you --- even if you have to act like a pig?

In which book does a character decide that a dog needs a bolder name, so she names it for the toughest word she can think of?

In which book does a character think that the only time his mother pays him any attention is when he gets into trouble?

In which book does a character say, "He'll be a great live model for the osprey painting"?

In which book does a character feel like she has been tickled awake from a nap after hearing that she won a prize in a contest? 

In which book do a character's tears run down her nose and drip onto the bedclothes?

In which book are bugs coming fast and furious, their back ends raised like scorpion tails?

In which book does a character look down and see water seeping into his footsteps, letting him know the edge of a swamp lies nearby?

In which book is a boy sitting cross-legged on a bench in his classroom? 

In which book is a character described as a knight with a shining needle?