Passage #2 – The Best PB & J Ever

When I got home from school after a long boring day, I took out the peanut butter, jelly, and bread. After taking the lid off of the jars, I spread the peanut butter on one side of the bread and the jelly on the other, and then I put the two pieces of bread together. After that, I enjoyed it while watching “Cops” on the TV. I swear, that was the best peanut butter and jelly sandwich I ever ate.

Passage #3 – Bobby Fischer

Robert James Fischer was born in Chicago but unlocked the secrets of chess in a Brooklyn apartment right above a candy store. At the age of six he taught himself to play by following the instruction booklet that came with his chess board. After spending much of his childhood in chess clubs, Fischer said that, “One day, I just got good.” That may be a bit of an understatement. At the age of 13 he won the U.S. Junior Chess Championship, becoming the youngest Junior Champion ever. At the age of 14 he won the U.S. Championship and became the youngest U.S. Champion in history. Fischer would go on to become the World Champion of chess, but he would also grow to become his own worst enemy. Instead of defending the title, he forfeited it to the next challenger without even making a move, and the rise of a chess superstar ended with a fizzle.

Passage #4 – The Great Recession

Many people are confused about why our economy went to shambles in 2008. The crisis was actually the result of a combination of many complex factors. First, easy credit conditions allowed people who were high-risk or unworthy of credit to borrow, and even people who had no income were eligible for large loans. Second, banks would bundle these toxic loans and sell them as packages on the financial market. Third, large insurance firms backed these packages, misrepresenting these high-risk loans as safe investments. Fourth, because of the ease of acquiring credit and the rapid growth in the housing market, people were buying two or three houses, intending to sell them for more than they paid. All of these factors created bubbles of speculation. These bubbles burst, sending the whole market into a downward spiral, causing employers to lose capital and lay off employees. Consumer spending then plummeted and most businesses suffered. The economy is like a big boat, and once it gets moving quickly in the wrong direction, it’s hard to turn it around.

Passage #5 – Screen Protector

Before applying the screen protector, clean the surface of your phone’s screen with a soft cloth. Once the surface of your screen is clean, remove the paper backing on the screen protector. Evenly apply the sticky side of the screen protector to your phone’s screen. Smooth out any air bubble trapped on between the protector and the phone screen. Enjoy the added protection.

Passage #6 – Cats in Ancient Egypt

You might think that cats get a ridiculous amount of attention from people today but that’s nothing compared to how they were treated in ancient Egypt. Since cats were believed to represent the Egyptian war goddess Bastet, the ancient Egyptians literally worshipped cats. Their admiration was expressed in ways that we might find funny or shocking today. They liked cats so much that killing a cat in ancient Egypt, even on accident, was punishable by death. The Greek historian Herodotus wrote that when a cat passed away, the household would go into mourning as though a member of the family had died. Family members would even shave off their eyebrows to show their loss. Another way in which ancient Egyptians showed love and respect for cats was through mummification. Cats were often mummified after dying, a process normally reserved for kings and nobles. Hundreds of thousands of cat mummies have been found preserved in and around Egypt. So the next time you see someone fawning over a cat video on YouTube, remember that it could be worse.

Passage #7 – Herding Cats

Cats are known for their independence. They may be difficult to train, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t teach an old cat new tricks. It’s time to learn how to teach your cat to fetch. First, find a toy or object that your cat likes. It is much easier to keep your cat’s attention if you use something in which he or she is already interested. Next, throw the toy a short distance. If your cat chases the toy, you are off to a good start. Wait until the cat returns the toy and reward the cat with a treat when he or she does. Continue doing this for as long as your cat shows interest in the toy: toss it, wait for the cat to return it, and then reward the cat. As your cat gets better at this trick, slowly increase how far you throw the toy. It may take some time, but with a little dedication and a lot of patience you can teach your cat a cool trick that he or she will do whenever he or she feels like it