I’m so proud of my baby girl. Look at her up there. She’s just glowing! It’s a little upsetting that she didn't want to wear my wedding dress, however. I mean, my grandmother wore it, my mother wore it, and I wore it. If you ask me, it’s a little selfish on her part, but nobody’s asking me, right?

I don't know why they asked me to do this. Cheryl knows how much I hate public speaking. They could have just gotten a priest, a judge, or a ship captain...somebody that does this kind of thing all the time. I think we’re ready

to start, but I’m having trouble finding the right place to begin. I dropped the pages I’d written just before coming out here, and now they’re all out of order!

It always amazes me what people pick for wedding music, but I do know that when they stray from the wedding classics, like “Here Comes the Bride,” they usually regret it. I’ve been asked to play pretty much everything- rock, pop, jazz, polka…everything. It always sounds interesting, but it doesn't always sound good.

I know that my mother’s not happy. I can tell by the way she’s looking at me, with those fiery, crossed eyes. However, I can't tell exactly what it is. My best guess is that it’s because of Bob, but I thought she really liked Bob! I mean, she makes his favorite food every time we come to visit, and she bought him the tie he’s wearing right now!

Ricky kept daring me to touch the skeleton. I tried to ignore him, but I finally figured that it was the only way to get him to be quiet. Plus, what was the harm? All of the bones were bolted to a big metal frame. It was no big deal. I finally told Ricky “FINE!” I quietly moved to the back of the group. Just as I reached out, someone grabbed my hand.

I always pick the wrong day! I love the peace and quiet of a nearly empty museum, but there was a mob of children there today…a mob, I say! I saw the most terrible thing. One little rascal was reaching out to touch the stegosaurus skeleton. He was going to put his oily mitts on a millions-of-years-old bone. Thank goodness that some upstanding student stopped that hoodlum before it was too late!

Mr. Robinson called in sick today, and two of our three parent chaperones didn't show. I tried to pick a spot near the museum guide where I could see everyone, but that was impossible. Ricky and Jim were whispering. Then Jim disappeared, but as long as I could still see Ricky, I felt okay. He was a troublemaker, but at least his mom was here. In fact, she was talking to him right now.

I saw Ricky whispering with his friend Jim and pointing at the skeleton, and I knew exactly what Ricky was up to. He always did the same thing at home with his younger brothers. Ricky was a manipulator. He could get anyone to do anything. As soon as I saw Jim sneaking behind the other students, I went right up to Ricky. “If he touches that dinosaur,” I told him, “you’re grounded forever."

By far, this was the biggest school group we’d ever had, so we had our hands full. We were also understaffed. It was a real challenge explaining the exhibits and also making sure that no one touched them. This was especially tricky near the dinosaur skeletons. The railings are just too close to the skeletons. It looked like something was happening toward the back of the group, but I couldn't see for sure.

I was the nearest unit, so I proceeded to the scene. I found two identical females near an SUV. They were screaming at each other. Their vehicle had minimal damage to the front right quarter. An ice cream truck was in the middle of the intersection. It had minimal damage to the right rear bumper, but it appeared that a cooler had toppled out, spilling dozens of popsicles. Children were gathering them up and running off.

It was the end of a long hot day. I had spent most of it parked at the beach, and by 4 p.m., I had sold out of everything but popsicles. I headed home and turned the music on in case anyone wanted to flag me down on the way. Out of nowhere, an SUV blew through a stop sign and rammed into me! The rear door popped open, and the cooler of popsicles spilled everywhere!

I was driving along, and my sister started nagging me. Finally, I’d had enough, and I said, “I’ll pay rent when you buy groceries!” Just then, we got to an intersection. I guess there was a stop sign, but it was mostly covered by a bush. The city should do something about that! Anyway, I tapped the bumper of an ice cream truck…tapped! Since some popsicles fell out, it looked worse than it was.

I heard a skid. I ran to Grandma’s window in time to see a cooler fall out of an ice cream truck. I ran outside and asked the driver if he was okay. He said yes. He seemed alright. I asked him if I could have a popsicle, and he said, “Sure, they never sell anyways.” I ran back inside, called my friends Lucy and Bruce, and told them to get down here pronto.

My sister was really laying into me. I made one little comment about rent being two weeks late, and she went off on me about not buying milk or something. She was driving – and way too fast, I might add – and still turned to look at me while she was yelling. She went right through a stop sign and slammed into the bumper of an ice cream truck. Popsicles spilled everywhere! It was a terrible day.