"I (a)   (arrive) home last night to find that my house was flooded.

"The bathroom tap (a)   (break) and...

water (a)   (pour) out all day!

"My new sofa (a)   (ruin)!

"Before I (a)   (phone) the plumber...

I (a)   (make) sure the power was off.

"I (a)   (want) somebody to get electrocuted.

"The plumber said he (a)   (come) in the morning!

"I had no choice but (a)   (tie) a T-shirt around the tap...

and I spent the next two hours (a)   (clean) up.

"It was midnight by the time I (a)   (finish)...

and I (a)   (go) to bed with an empty stomach!

"If I (a)   (know) ...

I (a)   (order) some Chinese takeout.

"As the power (a)   (be) off...

my electric cooker (a)   (work)!

"To top it all, the repair (a)   (cost) me an arm and a leg.

I tell you, mate, I (a)   (have) better nights!"