"You know, when I was little, I wanted a bicycle for my birthday, but my parents got me a baseball glove. So, you know what I did? I pretended that baseball glove was a bicycle, and I rode it to school every day. True Story."

“I’m only brave when I have to be. Being brave doesn’t mean you go looking for trouble.”

"- I don’t want you to think of me as your new dad. After all, we’re fraternity brothers first.

- This is so weird.

- Just think of me as your big brother that’s marrying your mother. Wait, hold on, we’re brothers who share the same mom slash wife."

“But without my voice, how can I…”

“You’ll have your looks, your pretty face… and don’t underestimate the importance of body language.”

“Don’t just fly, soar.”

“Now, think of the happiest things. It’s the same as having wings.”

“You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.”

Spare me your lies, temptress! Your emperor’s defeated, and I’m immune to your bewitching good looks

“A true hero isn’t measured by the size of his strength, but by the strength of his heart.”

“Fear” is a four-letter word, ladies! You wanna go peepee in your big-boy slacks, keep it to yourself!

Hey, don't look at me, I ain't bitin' no more butts.

“Folks around here are not firing on all cylinders, if you know what I mean.”

“Hm. Teenagers. They think they know everything. You give them an inch, they swim all over you.

“I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make your ancestors dizzy.”