I guess I should buy my 12-year-old daughter an iPhone. Everyone at her new school has one and I want her to fit in with the other kids.

My cousin Bob works as a mechanic at Oil Changers and he says that renewable energy sources, such as solar and wind power, aren’t going to provide any help in fixing our nation’s energy crisis.

There is definitely a link between autism and the vaccines given to toddlers. I know this because a Wikipedia entry mentioned numerous studies that found this to be true.

We think this new MallTime game app will be a success because all little girls like shopping.

Charlie: I think we should put more money into schools. Quality public education is so important. Bob: So you’re saying we should cut military spending and spend it instead on more spiral notebooks and crayons? I guess you want our country to be a weak, defenseless target for terrorists.

My opponent raises a good point, but can we really trust him? I mean, he moved to this town only two years ago and everyone knows that his wife left him

Charlie: Fast food is filled with salt, fat, and added sugars. We need better regulation of the industry. Bob: That may be, but you’re such a hypocrite! I saw you devour a Triple-Baconator, super-sized fries, and 64 ounces of soda yesterday.

My grandmother ate 10 cloves of raw garlic every day. Not surprisingly, she lived to be 102

The economy continues to grow as the number of “likes” on my Instagram account continue to increase. Clearly, the two are linked.

Over 50 million kids nationwide choose Mega-Bat for their baseball needs.

Candidate B has some good experience, but her shoes are too high and look extremely uncomfortable.

Mother: It’s bedtime Jane

Jane: Mom, how do ants feed their babies?

Mother: Don’t know dear, close your eyes now.

Jane: But mama, do ant babies cry when they’re hungry?

Mayor Blake wants to create more bicycle lanes in Lowell. Why is he forcing us to give up our cars and bike everywhere?

No one in your family surfs? But I thought you said you lived in California before this.

I like ice cream better than cake, so everyone should eat cake! Now! Do it!

President Smith said that the only way to solve the housing crisis is with the policy that he and his cabinet created.