Suspicions of foul play ____ the school as the student body attempts to piece together the

incident with limited information.

According to McClelland, the event occurred after a trip to

Harris Teeter for oranges. He had an ____ notion for the citrus fruits, craving them constantly after getting a whiff of Mrs. Nastasi's latest air freshener wafting through the Stone Bridge corridors.

“As I got into my car, I played my favorite album,” McClelland said. Hoping to mellow out to the ___ tunes, he was in for a rude shock. “About the time of the third song, Heavenly Bliss, a possum jumped out from the back seat.”

McClelland explained that the possum had managed to steal one of his oranges, and recounted preparing to challenge the ___possum to a karaoke contest upon facing it, the spiteful creature.

However, the teacher described a mixture of “delight, fear, and ___” following the initial meeting between him and the furry intruder. It may have carried rabies, after all, and one must be respectful of nature.

“You first need to get to know the possum before it becomes much more violent,” McClelland

said. “Possums like oranges. That's how you ___ them into a submissive state.”

Mr. McClelland found himself in quite a ___, facing off against a wild animal inside of an enclosed space. The bizarre problem was recounted by the SBHS journalism staff.

Damages as a result of the incident were minimal, but the victim noted that the passenger side window will not go down and recorded a net loss of 3 oranges. This was no ___ senior prank, the likes of which SBHS's halls have seen in the past, like trite displays of toilet papering.

Although the culprit behind the

prank is unknown, McClelland has a hunch on who might be involved.

“I think it may have been Mr. Flynn,” McClelland said. “I won’t say it was me, but I might have managed to put a ferret in his car last week.” The principal may be ____ innocence, no comment was forthcoming.

On a lighter note, the possum has shown to be an intelligent companion for McClelland, even earning the name Steefe (stuh-eev). The teacher has brought the marsupial home, to the displeasure of his wife, who considers Steefe the ____ of an ideal pet.

“The possum has a timeshare in Bora Bora, but he does come home every night at 9 pm in a state of ___, having exhausted himself,” McClelland said.

Although the situation ended up leading to a newfound friendship, the prankster is still at large. The buzz is perhaps ___, and next week SBHS will have a new incident to ponder, having forgotten all about Steefe.

An investigation will be taking place in a timely manner. The possum is ___ the McClelland's upholstery worse than a pack of kittens, leaving the décor of his new home in shreds. In the meantime, McClelland has a few words to share with his assailant.

“The first thing I would say is well-played,” McClelland said. “The second thing I would say is, what is next?” The prankster has found themselves a ___ foe in McClelland.

The ___ prankster may be the same one responsible for secretly replacing all of McClelland's books with meat.