Teens and Relationships

Teens and Relationships

Family relationships are important at every age. For teens, these can pose great challenges. A major source of tension between teens and parents is the teen's need for independence.

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Open Ended

Think for a moment about the disagreements you have with your parents. What issues frequently cause conflict?

The tension that arises between teens and parents around issues like curfew, rules, grades, etc., is related to the teen's growth toward independence.

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What do you think the real, bottom-line problem is in these issues?

YES - THAT'S RIGHT!!!!

Your efforts to become independent scare your parents. They fear you will make bad choices and feel pain. Their efforts to protect you feel like control and manipulation to you.

But here's an interesting truth - teens who feel close to their parents tend to show greater self-reliance and independence.

During adolescence, teens naturally look to their peers for approval. Peer pressure is very real and can be both a negative and a positive influence. As we transition from complete dependence on our parents for guidance to navigating our own relationships, attitudes and behaviors within peer groups are major players. Susceptibility to peer pressure peaks at 14 or 15.

Poll

When you have a serious issue to work through, who are you most likely to seek out for advice?

• parent/parent figure

• friend

• depends on issue

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So, in terms of friendships, what qualities/characteristics are important to you?

According to research, LOYALTY is the most important aspect of peer relationships for teens.

Teens tend to choose friends who are similar to them.

The context of the similarity can be very broad - same friends, shared classes, same neighborhood, other social groups in common, family connections.

Adolescents tend to follow peers in terms of things like clothing, music, hobbies.

They tend to follow parents in terms of long-term plans, moral values.

Another important social interaction that usually begins to develop during adolescence is dating.

Dating can be a source of tension between teens and parents and sometimes even teens and their friends.

Open Ended

What issues with dating do you think could cause problems, either with parents or with friends?